3 Random Thoughts......

Things are moving right along with the Cowans. We are now 34 weeks. 6 weeks! I just can't believe it. This weeks dr.'s appointment was good. General checkup, heartbeat was good. We go back in two weeks and he will start checking my cervix. And then....we start going every week!!! It is just moving sooooo fast. We put the crib up last night and put the sheet on it. I'm still waiting for the blanket to arrive to see which one I am going to use. I needed something in that room besides a stack of diapers and clothes and goodies. I loved seeing all that but it just didn't make it feel like the nursery was in progress. :) Malachi helped with the bed. He said he was putting Lawson's bed together. Can't wait to have those two boys together.

Here lately, I've been noticing Malachi wanting to do things more and more like Nick. I mean, he's always copied him and repeated him but now he's really watching him and taking in everything Nick does. The other night when we were eating dinner, Malachi started eating his food. When Nick sat down to eat, Malachi would cut his eyes at Nick to see what he was eating and he would eat the same thing. And he would eat it until Nick took a bite of something else. When he's watching sports, he'll look at Nick to see Nick's reaction and then do his own. He wants Nick to play with him all the time. (don't worry Jessica, he still comes to you when he needs comforting or is tired) :) So all that to say, when I noticed this, I really started pondering it and realizing that, Malachi has a dad he can look up too. He has a dad that is there for him, encourages him, disciplines him, takes time to show him attention, etc. I started realizing how lucky my boys actually are. Not every little boy has that dad in their life. I'm extremely blessed that Nick is who is and is there for all of us. I can't wait for Lawson to be here and to be able to experience the headaches and gray hairs, I mean, the fun and excitement that these three will bring to my life. :)

In other news: This past Saturday was my baby shower hosted by my amazing friends. It was wonderfully simple. I didn't have a cute cake again....I wanted pie! So, they made banana/blueberry pie and coconut creme pie. Both were so stinkin' good. Along with some strawberry shortcake and candies and cookies......I loved it! I am so thankful and blessed to all my friends who came and showered Lawson with gifts. I am a lucky girl I must say. You would understand if you knew all these people.

This was on vacation this year in Florida.

A couple of pictures from my shower.

Today I Cried.......

Ok, I didn't cry full blown tears but the more I sat on the bench in my bathroom the more my eyes filled with tears and the more red they got. But, I had to snap back to reality. Pull it together, you are about to go to work and.......... You are about to drop your son off at his new daycare!!! (insert snotty nose here) That's right, Malachi started his new "school" today. I thought I would take him to work with me this week because we are only there 3 days but I knew there was just no way I could. Especially coming off of vacation, knowing all the phone calls I would be dealing with. So, I swallowed the lump in my throat and started getting his bag together.

Getting his bag together was the easy part. Dismissing the thoughts in my head is a different story. What if no one plays with him? What if he doesn't eat enough? What if there not very comforting? blah blah blah It's finally time to leave. We get in the car and these thoughts come back and my eyes try to fill with tears again but I am not going to let that happen. Nope. I'm tough. I got this. You know that feeling, when you really just wanna let a big ole baby cry but don't want anyone to see you so you hold it back? Only then you get the feeling in your stomach, like your stomach is crying. Well, that's what I had. That feeling. And I didn't want him to see me cry because I didn't want him to think it was something bad and already have a bad perspective of his new "school."

We arrive. There it is, staring me right in the face. The place I'm about to leave my baby for the first time. (insert sweaty armpits and hot face here) We take him to his room and Nick distracts him with the play kitchen. He immediately starts playing. I'm trying to talk to the teacher and not cry. She's very reassuring that he'll have a good time. (Lady, I use to work in daycares, I know the make mom feel better speech). Btw.....Ms. Jessica and Ms. Shelby are both very nice. She told us that we could call anytime or come by and see how he was doing so that did take a little anxiety off my heart. We left.

I wanted so bad to run back in there and hug and kiss him and see what he was doing but I didn't. I knew it would not be good for either of us. Boy did this first day back to work go by slow. I didn't have my phone, the internet on my computer was down, and my baby was with strangers!!! The time just couldn't go by fast enough. When it finally came time to go pick him up I felt like we drove so slow. We finally made it. I tried not to run in. I mean, I didn't want to look like a dork or anything. I got to the door and when he saw me, he had the biggest smile on his face. He came running to me saying, mommy mommy. I picked him up. He squeezed me so tight and kissed my cheek, said mommy in the sweetest voice then hugged me so tight again. That was better than winning the lottery. Then what did he say, "Ryan's not nice." I'm thinking great. He already has had a run in with a bully. You better just watch out RYAN, this momma is on to you. ;)

They said he did good. There were a couple of times that he would ask for us then get sad and they would comfort him and he would be fine. He didn't want to eat his lunch like he normally does with new people. So Ms. Shelby had to feed him. lol He went potty all day long. PTL!!!! No accidents for the new people. And....he did good taking a nap on his mat. All in all, he probably had a much better day than mommy did with his first day of school. :)

Days of Vacation

We came to Florida last Thursday, the 23rd, to visit family. It's always nice to see everyone especially since we don't get to see them that often. To our surprise, Uncle Nejay was able to fly in also so come this Thursday, everyone will be here. Aunt Chrissy is driving in Thursday evening. We saw our nephew Patrick for the first time. He is so precious. He seems so little but I know Malachi was once that little. Sunday was his dedication. Such a wonderful experience to share with family and friends.

We have been enjoying our time at the beach. Malachi was a bit skiddish at first but now we can't keep him out of the water. He's become a brave little boy, wanting to run out into the ocean all by himself. Our friend Tyler had a puddle jumper last year so we thought we would try one out this year. So far, two thumbs up. We only have just a few more days to enjoy it, and believe me, we are going to enjoy every minute of it. More to come after vacation is over!!!

29 Weeks...

Last Monday marked the 28th week for this pregnancy. I cannot believe how fast it seems to be going. When you say 3 months left, well..that sounds like forever. But then, when you say 11 weeks.......What??? 11 weeks?? We only have 11 weeks left and have nothing done. Yowzer!!! Today is week 29. I had a dr.'s appointment this morning. Everything was good. My blood pressure was a hair low but nothing to worry about. Just gotta get my iron levels up. Lawson's heartbeat was a strong 149bpm. I love hearing it. He has been super active lately. Doesn't really like for you to touch him. lol Malachi still has no real interest in feeling my belly. No big deal. He's got to much going on I guess. ;) Here are a couple of pictures. We are excited about Lawson's arrival. Always wondering what he'll look like. Will he look like Malachi? Such a wonderful mystery awaits us.

Lawson 28 weeks

Malachi 28 weeks
In other news: Our nephew, Nathan Patrick Cowan II, arrived June 1. He is so precious and cute. We can't wait to see him and hopefully that won't be too long. His mommy and daddy are doing good and loving having their family of 3. We are super excited for them. Now introducing...

Baby Patrick
Isn't he adorable!!!???

Another First.....The Movies

Last weekend we were suppose to take Malachi to the movies but something came up and we were not able too. He would mention randomly that he wanted to go to the movies so I decided I was gonna make it happen this weekend. So, last night he and I went to the movies! It was so fun getting to experience it with him. He was really excited about the 'popcorun.' I love to hear him say it. We went and watched Rio. He did surprisingly well. He sat through the whole thing. Well, there was a point when he did discover that the movie was coming out of the wall and became fascinated with that for about 10 minutes. Then he returned to watching the movie. It's always a little stressful in these situations knowing that a 2 year old is probably going to "laugh" much louder and make more "noises" as opposed to an older child. And I thought, since this movie had been out awhile no one would be there. WRONG. There were only about 10 people there so it was good. It made me even more happy when he would really laugh at a part in the movie. LOVED IT! Karla met us their with her sister-in-law and nieces. It was a lot of fun. We have found a new outing!

Mother's Day......2011

The older I get and the older my son gets, next year it will be sons :), the more I start to appreciate the act and responsibility of motherhood. Motherhood is scary. A tiny little person, that you have carried inside of you, protecting and doing all the things you know to do to help he/she be born healthy, and then, they are born and a whole new world of protection begins. Why is he crying? Is he sick? I think he has fever. I hope it's not broken. On and on go the thoughts in a mother's head. Am I doing this right? Why can't I fix them? A mother never rests. Well, I feel like I never rest. Isn't it funny how we change when we become a mother? Catching puke in our hands (mostly so it doesn't ruin the carpet), wiping that snot with your fingers, eating that candy that has been chomped on for the past 5 minutes because they don't want it anymore, realizing that that favorite shirt you love is just gonna be stained from now on, acting a little undignified to get your child to eat-it's really ok. These are all small, small things that a parent does. But, with all the cuts, and bruises, bumps on the heads, restless nights, there is no greater love than the love a mother feels for her child. It's almost like an unexplainable love. You really can love so much it hurts. I feel so honored and blessed that God chose me to be the mom to two wonderful little boys.
***My mom......what can I say, she's a superhero. I could not do life without her. She's there when I need her, she's a hardworker, she loves unconditionally, and she's what keeps our family going. She never has a lot to say but her kindness and love is enough to cover her words. I am so blessed to have such an incredible mother. She has taught me how to be a mother and I can only hope that I can be there for my kids like she has been for me.
***My mother-in-law.....I am soooo blessed to have such a great mother-in-law. Not everyone gets along with their in-laws, not everyone likes their in-laws. But I have been blessed to be a part of this family and I couldn't have asked for a better mother-in-law. She's loving, kind, hardworking, always there for kids and their family. (sounds a lot like my mom, huh) She's an amazing woman that I am so honored to know and be a part of her life. Thank you Lord, for giving me the women that are in my life.
***I had a wonderful Mother's Day. We all ate breakfast in bed together. I was then presented with flowers. Flowers that never die.....the best kind. They are Nick and Malachi's hands. And if you'll notice in the picture, the little bitty circles on the "stem" are Lawson's little hands. :) We had lunch together and just enjoyed being a family. I love my family more than life itself.

This was one scared momma!

Yesterday, was a pretty eventful day around the Cowan house to say the least. It truly is amazing how when you think your child is seriously hurt that everything within you just falls apart. I have NEVER been this scared as a mommy in my whole 2 years of being a mom. Ok, so Malachi is a climber these days. Saturday we found him on top of the changing table, on any given day, he will take his chair to the bathroom to play in the sink, you name it, he's climbing on it.

Yesterday, Nick and I are setting on the couch watching tv. I know Malachi is in our room because I just left there. (He was making noises in to the fan.) All of the sudden I hear this bang, as I turned my head to look in our room I see the chest of drawers falling. Pregnant women don't move that fast, but I promise you I could have beat all of you in a sprint. But it seemed as if I couldn't get there fast enough. I hear screaming and all I could do was scream over and over Nick, Nick, Nick....... When i got there, I.couldn't.see.Malachi.at.all. My heart was in a panic. I started to lift the drawers myself as Nick came rushing in and just threw it up and scooped up this scared screaming little boy. After he picked him up and I came back to earth, I finally realized that the drawers had caught itself on the bed (Thank God!!!) and all that could have possibly hit him or landed on him may have been a drawer that opened when it was falling. I searched him over, not even finding a scratch. He stopped crying and started asking, "What happend? What happened?" You were climbing, that's what happened. I've been scared before in my life, in dangerous situations, but nothing compares to thought of your child being hurt and you can't get to them fast enough.

Later that evening we went to get groceries. We are almost done and Malachi starts screaming. Not screaming like he wants his way but screaming like he is hurt. Someone, he had his leg twisted one way, his foot the other and it was stuck in the cart. His face is turning red, he's trying to move, we are trying to hold him still and that doggone leg won't budge. I'm thinking its gonna be broke by the time we get it untwisted. It came loose, he was fine. Then.....we get home, are starting to unload the groceries and I hear that crying hurt again. What else could possible happen today? Nick didn't see Malachi come up behind him so Nick is pulling the 24 pack of water out of the car and clocks the poor baby in the head and knocks him down. I mean really. I just wanted to leave the groceries in the car and go to bed.

That's about the jist of our first Sunday in May. Oh and btw....I've always thought to myself, if in a situation where it requires a strong person what would I do? I would do what needs to be done. Adrenaline really does kick in and it seems you can do anything. hhhmmmm Thank the Lord he was ok!!!