Saturday, November 30, 2013

Our First Born......

From the moment we found out...... We have Loved You!!

To say daddy was so happy you were a boy is an understatement.

The first car ride home......longest and scariest moment of our lives. 

I truly cannot believe you are 5 today. I can remember that day so well. It went by much faster than I had ever planned. November 30th, it's a day that put a whole new meaning to what love is. It was a day that the world stood still, a day when the world seemed more scary than it ever had, a day that made me laugh and cry all at the same time, a day that I never will forget....It was the day you made me a mommy. I found a whole new love inside, a love I didn't know could exist. How could you possibly love someone this much? Someone that you had never even met. For 9 months I protected you from too much caffeine and unheated hot dogs. Now I have to protect you from the world? Was I ready for this? Was I ready to bring home someone so innocent and tiny? We were as ready as we could be and we certainly were not going to leave the hospital without you. ;)   'Tis true what they say, time is flying by. It seems like only yesterday that we were celebrating your
First Birthday. 
Sports seemed like a generic enough theme for someone who could really care less that it was their first birthday. Little did I know that you would soon be a little sports fanatic. Football, basketball, baseball, nascar, soccer, you name it, you want to play it. And your ability to name players and drivers, teams and mascots never ceases to amaze me. (You're just like your father.) Every year you have taught me something new. Just when I think I couldn't possibly love you anymore, I find another whole new way of loving you.
From Toy Story....

 to Veggie Tales.....

 to your 4th and the Dallas Mavericks....

 It has all landed us here. 
Today you turn 5!!!! (Texas Rangers next Saturday)

I absolutely cannot tell you how much JOY you bring to our lives. You are the most handsome 5 year old I know.  You have such a tender heart and are such a loving little man. I never knew I would play so many cars, have so many sword fights, raise my hand every time we go over a train track, I never knew until I had you. I am SO BLESSED and SO THANKFUL that God chose me to be your mommy. I love you with everything that I have. I will fight for you and protect you. I will cheer for you and support you. I will love you and discipline you. I will pray for you. Most of all, I will LOVE you. I will love you forever. Malachi Joseph Cowan you are my precious first born and today I hope you know how much you mean to me. 

Monday, October 21, 2013

My Best Friend

This weekend my Best Friend and I had a "girls" night in Dallas. She is getting married NEXT MONTH!!! 
We met in 2000 at church camp. She was fun, pretty, loved Jesus and well.....we just hit it off. December of 2000 I decided to move to Florida to live with her. She was living in Pensacola and going to school at Brownsville. We both worked at the same daycare. Work in the morning, beach in the afternoon. That....was the good life. 

She has been the most loyal friend I've ever had. Our relationship is funny at times. She says what she thinks, I say what I think and we become better friends. I remember one time Nick saying how mean we were to each other. lol But really, it's how we stay the best of friends. Honest. Real. No eggshell walking. Just say it like it is and move on. She is a big part of our family and we are gonna miss her when she moves. Aunt Jengie. That's her name in the Cowan house. 

She deserves the very best and I'm now convinced she's getting the best. It's been a running joke between her and Nick that when the time comes, her man would have to ask permission from me and not her dad. Silly people.  I may have ran a tight ship with her relationships. LOL But it was only because no one was ever good enough. But Mark, well Mark was a keeper. We love him and can't wait for him to be Uncle Marky. 

Best Friends

Monday, September 23, 2013

Did God really just speak to me during Candy Crush?

Go ahead and laugh, I sure did. Have you ever had God speak to you in the most peculiar places? Last night was one of those times. It wasn't necessarily the place it happened at but what I was doing when He spoke. I was playing Candy Crush. Really??

For those of you not familiar with the game, Candy Crush can be quite addicting. I rarely play it anymore, mostly because I have been on the same level since July and can't figure out how to beat it. Anyway, candy crush is a game where you have to get more than two colors in a row to get rid of the squares. Goal: To break all the squares before you run out of moves or before one of the bombs explode. In most cases, you have 10 chances to get rid of the bombs before you lose. So you really have to pay attention and remember how many chances you have before it explodes.

As I am playing this game last night, God began to speak to me. Not gonna lie, I did a God check. Nah, this is just my head rambling in its own conversation. And the more he spoke, the more I realized it wasn't just me. In the game of Candy Crush, you know exactly how many chances you have before that bomb explodes. In life, we don't always get 10 chances and we certainly don't know when the last chance will be. And in the game, when the bomb explodes, I always blame it on something or someone else. I didn't know it was going to explode because the boys were fighting, or I had to check on dinner, or someone called and interrupted me. I know I have 10 chances to get rid of the bombs yet I always want to blame it on someone else.

There are things in our lives (my life) that God has been trying to get our attention on and yet we keep on playing. I know we have all been lucky that we have been given chance after chance and nothing has "exploded" yet. But when will that last chance be? Maybe you've already been given 20 chances with texting and driving, or 10 chances with cheating on a test, or 30 chances of not paying attention to your spouses needs, maybe it's befriending a co-worker that everyone else rejects, etc. Whatever it may be, those chances are soon to run out. And who will be to blame, you. Only problem is, we don't know when that last chance will be. Has God been trying to get your attention on something and you just keep saying, I've got time. I'll do it later. I'll take care of that tomorrow. Don't let your chances run out before it's too late.

I'm telling you, I still think this funny. Comparing life to Candy Crush. But, I guess God will use anything when he needs to get our attention the most.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Living What He Preached

Last week, a wonderful man of God passed away. My grandpa was one of the most Godly men I have ever known. He was always praying, always seeking after God. He loved his family. If ever there was a problem or something we were going through, we could always count on him to pray for us. I've been thinking back over the years of all the awesome memories we all shared with him: camping, fishing, hauling hay, sitting out in the yard talking, church, etc. But I can honestly say, the one memory that will stick with me probably more than anything, is the faith in God he showed during his last days.

Before he got to the point that he couldn't really talk, he preached his last message right there in his living room, laying in his bed. Quoting scripture, giving God all the praise. I wish I could have been there to hear him. But I was able to make it the weekend before he passed and I will never forget it. At this point he could hardly speak at all. If he did, you had to get real close and just try and make out the words that he would say. That Saturday, me, my aunts and my cousins stood beside his bed singing songs that we knew he loved. My grandpa sick and dying in the bed, would raise his hands and say Yes Lord and Amen. It was so hard to get through any song without crying. Watching him praising his Savior even in the bad times. He was truly living out the words he had always preached. Praising God no matter what.

Everyone stayed the last few days with him, taking turns staying up. This gave my granny relief and allowed her to get some much needed rest. And let me tell you, you will never meet a sweeter, more tender hearted woman than her. Anyway, one night my aunt said as she was staying up by his bedside and she heard choir music. No one singing, just the sweet music of the choir. She said, right where that music was, my grandpa's eyes were fixed on that area. She didn't mention the music to anyone because she said, I thought you all might think I'm crazy. lol  Well, another aunt and two more of my cousins heard the same sweet choir music. My grandpa would say raise his hands praising the Lord. I believe with all my heart, this was the music from heaven, welcoming him home. It was only a few days after that, that the Lord took him to the place He had lived his life to be.

We are sad that we won't see him on earth anymore but oh how sweet it is to know exactly where he is. A new body, a new hand...singing unending praises at the feet of Jesus. My grandpa's son, my uncle, preached his funeral. I can't imagine how tough that would be but he did an amazing job. He truly made it feel like a homecoming for my grandpa. Well, that's how I felt anyway. If you left the funeral doubting who God is and the one you should be serving, then you must've been asleep. :)

The one song that played over and over in my head that weekend was:
And on that day when my strength is failing
the end draws near and my time has come.
Still my soul will sing your praise unending
10,000 years and then forever more.

I am thankful that my family has come from amazing faith legacies. Both sets of my grandparents and my husbands grandparents were strong believers and lived it in their daily lives.  We are so blessed to come from such great families!!

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Mercy's Song

My friend Crystal Hahn recently posted a song that she caught her daughter singing in her room. Not a song that anyone else could sing because it was Mercy's song. That's right, this sweet little 5 year was singing her own song and with the quick thinking of her mom, Crystal was able to write down the words to that song. Crystal said that Mercy just kept singing for about 20 minutes while she was coloring. When I read the words, it struck a chord in my heart and then I went on about my day and I honestly didn't think much about it. But it seemed that all throughout the day and the next couple of days three words from Mercy's song kept coming back to me.....No Matter What. I asked Crystal if I could share her song and she of course said yes!

Here are her words:
Mercy's song:
My life is great no matter what
My life is great no matter what happens
My life is great no matter what happens to me
Because no matter what you are with me.
My God is good
Thanks for everything God
You think about us.
Where is my God, He is everywhere
My God, where is He?
He's with you and He's with me
Our hero God
He switches things
He's the only one
My life is great no matter what because God is with me.

Can we say wow?!? From the heart of a 5 year old, there is so much to learn. No Matter What, God is With Us. God is Good. God is Everywhere. He Switches Things. My Life is Great No Matter What BECAUSE GOD IS WITH ME!!!  These words are so true and so purely spoken. If only we as adults could fully grasp the words No Matter What. 

Our faith can become so weary with everything going on around us. Your bank account is about dry, you are suddenly unemployed, you are finding yourself at the edge of divorce, your life as you know it is completely falling apart. How could we possibly have faith when these things are taking over our life, our every ounce of happiness? Because, No Matter What God is With Us. It's not easy to keep faith when trouble is in our view but that's when we have to dig a little deeper and remember that God is Everywhere and He does CARE ABOUT YOU!

Matthew 6:26 says: Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Matthew 10:29-31 says: 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[a] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Just remember, God knows every step we take. He knew them before we took them. God cares about you. There is nothing that God will not see us through. No matter how big or small we think our situation is, God is bigger. And sometimes that means He doesn't always see us through the way we want. There may be a little suffering and a little pain, but rest assure JOY will come in the morning. 

Mercy Blair had a song in her heart and I'm so glad her momma decided to share it with us. It's much easier said than done, Have Faith Like a Child. But I pray that I can do just that in my every day life. I hope that Mercy's words captured your heart like they did mine. Hold on to faith and believe that God is for you. 

Friday, August 2, 2013

A Servant Minded New Kid on the Block

When I started working, a couple of weeks ago, I really started thinking about how I wanted my new year at work to play out. In my head, it sounds amazing, drama free, and super fun! In reality, I know that those three things will happen SOME of the time. Let's face it, no job, or at least most jobs, are not amazing all the time, nor are they drama free all the time, nor are they super fun all the time. Some days just plain suck. Someone may yell at you, talk about you, you may make a mistake (big mistake that is gonna have major consequences), you simply just don't feel like getting out of bed that day, your boss is a mean brat and you think your coworkers are just not as smart as you, and if everyone would just do things your way the world would be a better place. Have you ever felt like this? I know I have and I'm sure there are some upcoming days that this will be exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. So I started thinking, how can I change these thoughts? I know these situations are going to arise, but how can I change my mindset? My plan- to do everything with a servant mind.

Like I said, I know not every day is gonna be roses and there are certainly gonna be times when that servant-hearted mind is gonna be hard to find. I'm not even really doing the job I was hoping to be doing but how I'm oh so thankful that I have a job. So, I hope that when I start to get frustrated and find myself on the edge of "jumping off the cliff," I can stop, breath, and remind myself that I'm being a servant and helping someone somehow. Whether I'm answering the phone with an angry parent on the other end, making a bazillion copies, trying to enter things in the computer and the system just won't work, I just gotta remember...... Do it with a servant hearted mind. I actually tried this this past week and you know what? The task at hand didn't seem so bad.

Now, add New Kid on the Block to trying to have a servant hearted mind. No, I'm not new to the school district. I'm not even new to the campus. But, I am new to a lot of the people there because when I was there, they were not. New face, new walls go up. It's not exactly as easy as I thought it would be. Is she nice? What's she like? Who is she? I hope she does things the way you do it. Guess what? It doesn't matter how old you are, being the New Kid on the Block is challenging and scary. Trust me, I know. So, when that new co-worker shows up and starts doing things a little different than the way you do it or a little different than the person before them did it, just remember, you were once a NKOTB and it's not always fun. Be nice, go out of your way to make them feel welcome. You may just find that they're not as bad as you "heard" they were.

We are all gonna have those people we just don't like to work with. And we all will have that job that at some point we do not want to do. Just remember, every person has a story and every job has a reason. A reason we may not like but a reason nonetheless. For some reason, I have this crazy idea that if I can just remember this, my days won't seem so long and my job won't seem so bad on those days.

So, as I begin a new year with mostly new people, I am challenging myself to do everything as a Servant Minded New Kid on the Block.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Tonight I Met With God

Tonight I started running again. While we were on vacation I did basically nothing in the form of working out. I ran a couple of times and rode the stationary bike a couple of times. The end.  Vacation doesn't really scream "run a mile" to me. Tonight however, I got a little more than just a good run in. I also had a run in with God.

I started work today and that was not easy. Not because the job is hard and I can't manage it but because I left my baby at home. Again. I remember when I had to go back to work when Malachi was a baby and it knotted the pit of my stomach and today was certainly no different. I act tough but on the inside, this momma was in tears just as I am now typing. (I think I cry more the older I get.) It helps that Nick is home with them for these next two weeks but after that, the thought of Lawson going to daycare, in the care of someone else, it breaks my heart.

But tonight, tonight God reminded me that he is faithful and that I am a good momma. All day, the devil pulled at me, pushed me around on the inside, telling me how bad of a mom I was for leaving my boys. What a bad mom you are for letting someone else take care of them. He tried to knock me out today but the God I serve said not today. Today is a day that you take back what the devil has stole from you all day. You take back the joy that you have in knowing that you are a good momma and good momma's help provide for their kids. I knew all of this before but tonight God had to remind me of that.

For the first half mile tonight this song was playing on my phone:
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
I'm reaping the harvest God promised me
Take back what the devil stole from me
And I rejoice today, for I shall recover it all

I could feel that the Lord was starting to speak to me. I knew that He was saying, hey, I've got this. I've been faithful to you before and I'll be faithful to you now. The next song was this: 
You don't have to worry
And don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning
Troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

I know that this next month will be tough with me being at work and the boys in daycare. But I also know this, I know that God has a plan for our family and this is only a stepping stone to that plan. I know that I can make it. I'm not sure yet where I'm going but with him, no matter what comes my way, I CAN MAKE IT! I truly believe that I am where God wants me right now. Even though there are still times when I'm looking ahead and the finances still don't seem to be lining up, or when the devil tries to tell me a lie, that's only the small picture. God sees the big pictures. 

I stopped running at a mile and kept walking while pushing the boys in the stroller. (Nick was long gone once I took over the stroller.) This may have been one of my favorite walks. As the song above was playing, I spent that next 5 minutes of my walking praying over my boys. The neighbors probably think I have a tick or something because I was lifting my hands, waving them over the boys, praising God.....but I didn't care. :) That was some of the best prayer time I've had in awhile. As I finished up praying we were just reaching the house and Because of Who You Are started playing. If you don't know the song please listen to it. Listen to all three of them. You will not be disappointed. I promise. As I reached the house and let the boys out to go in, I just stood at the garage and said Thank you Lord. Because of Who You Are I give you praise. Not because of the job you provided me, not because of the peace I feel right now, but just because of who you are, I give you glory. 

I'm sharing this not because I want you to think I'm some spiritual person who just runs through her neighborhood praising the Lord. I'm sharing it because I have talk to some moms out there who would give up everything if they could to be home with their babies. And there are times when satan tries to tell them that they are not good moms for going to work. Truth is, if you are helping provide for your child because that's what needs to be done, then that makes you a great mom! You do what you have to do for your family. On the flip side, maybe you are working because you love your family and your career. Maybe you're not the stay at home type. THAT'S OK TOO!!! 

Like I said before, I know that I will still be sad when the boys start back to school, but I know that I can find peace in the fact that God sees the bigger picture. I prayed over them and I know that God heard my prayers and He will take care of them. August 5 when they start back, although there will be some sadness, joy will come in the morning. 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

It's All About Family

When we planned our trip back in March, Nick mentioned how nice it would be to see the whole family since we would be in Florida for an entire month. But, he quickly responded with, I don't want everyone to get together just for me. Well, I knew I couldn't leave it at that because I know how much his family means to him. And since we live in Texas, we usually miss out on any and all get together's. I emailed my MIL and Aunt Karen to see if there was a place we could meet to eat between Venice and Gainesville and anyone who wanted to join could gladly do so. Well they did me one better. They invited everyone to spend the weekend in Gainesville (many of them live there anyway). Nejay (Nick's brother) was able to come from Alabama, his sister from Tallahassee, and many cousins from all over, even out of state. We had not seen most of them in 4 years. That's just too long! It initially was suppose to be a surprise for Nick and it was up until the last couple of weeks. But he was still pleasantly surprised and was so glad everyone was getting together. 

We all arrived on Friday night at Uncle Steve's house (he graciously opened up his home for all of us). And what makes a family get together even better?? A fish fry of course!!!! Fried Talapia, shrimp and hushpuppies.........yes please! It was delicious. The next morning we all came back together for breakfast and then had dinner together again that night. 

Saturday was a hang out do as you please kinda day. Nick and I had the opportunity to meet some cousins that we had never met. His mom had not seen this cousin in a long time so it was a wonderful treat. There was also plenty of sports watching and sports playing. Wrestling, football, baseball, watching Nascar, tennis.....and the list goes on and on. 
We had a wonderful weekend together. There were some crazy times but we all enjoyed each other's company. I mean, you have to expect a little crazy when you have 12 kids under the age of 8. ;) And that wasn't even all of the "baby" cousins. Look how cute they are.  
I think my MIL said it best in her email, "I thank the Lord for our heritage, the legacy that our parents left, and for the love and unity that we share.  Thank the Lord that the love and unity continues through the cousins.  Mom and Dad would be proud." This is definitely a tight knit family and I am so proud to call them mine. I know their parents/grandparents would be proud of them. I was grateful that I was able to see where this heritage, legacy, love and unity began. Nick always talks about his grandaddy's church and this weekend I was given a chance to see the place he has been talking about. 
I am so thankful that those that could make it did. And for those that couldn't, we greatly missed you!! Nick and I are so blessed and so thankful that you all took time to get together for us. I couldn't have asked for a better extended family. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Vacation is winding down......

We have been in Florida since June 10. It's hard to believe it has almost been a whole month since we flew out of Texas. We are enjoying spending time with our family. Uncle Nejay and Aunt Chrissy made it in last night so now we are complete. This weekend we have planned a trip to Gainesville. Most of Nick's family lives either there or in Tallahassee so we are meeting there to visit everyone. The last time we saw the whole fam was right before Malachi turned 1. So, needless to say, we have a lot of catching up to do and now everyone can meet Lawson.

Yesterday we finally made it to the beach, again. We had plans to go on Monday but it literally rained all day long. My FIL had to drain the pool twice just so it wouldn't run over. The red flag was out when we arrived and the waves were definitely crashing the shoreline. But even with all the weather we had a great time. There were some idiots of course still trying to swim out to the buoys making those poor lifeguards work double time.

I've been trying to put together some ideas for the boys birthdays. Sometimes I wish I would have never created "big" birthday parties for Malachi bc now I feel like I have to do the same for Lawson. lol On the flip side, I really like doing it. I love decorating and coming up with ideas. I usually stress myself out way more than I should, but in the end I'm happy with my accomplishments. It's never fancy with expensive decor, just a lot of homemade hosh posh. Malachi turns 5 this year and I am trying to come up with something special for his 5th birthday. So far, nothing comes to mind. And, I thought we could have a non-sports party and do something else like Green Eggs and Ham but he insists he wants a Texas Rangers party. Sigh. I guess I should be use to it by now but a mom can dream right? :)

Although I am loving spending all this time with our family, beach trips, pool access 24-7 and just having a great vacation, I think I'm ready to be back in my own bed. The boys have been on a crazy roller coaster ride with their eating habits and sleeping patterns. I dread getting them back to a school routine. We are going to start potty training Lawson when we get back. The fun thing about this? It will be all Nick during the day since I start work July 15. I know he will do great and Lawson is definitely showing signs he is ready.

We are definitely missing our friends and church. We can't wait to see you Texas family!!!!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

God Is On Vacation

We are having an amazing time here with our family in Florida. We even have friends here that we were able to do a mini vacay with. This is definitely the longest vacation we have ever taken. One thing that I have noticed since we've been here, God is on vacation. He's on our vacation. He is blessing us and showing us his goodness. You never really know when God is going to show you something or how he will speak to you, but when you open your heart and listen, he's right there, even on vacation.

We were so lucky to be able to attend the last service Pastor Gray preached at Lift Church. They have been the senior pastors here for 18 years, children's pastors before that. Their total time has been 26 years!!! What a legacy and foundation of God's Kingdom they are leaving behind as they begin their next journey that God has in store for them. They have been called to Ohio to show God's love to the people of Youngstown. What an amazing thought....... God can/will call you out of a place if he sees fit no matter how long you have been there no matter how much time you have invested. After all, we are working for him right?

I actually feel like I've had a few questions answered that I have been pondering on and praying about. An unexpected door has been opened and I certainly wasn't expecting that. All because two people listened to God and are on their way to Ohio. One thing that I remember so well that Pastor Gray said was, Be prayerful, be available, be flexible, and hopeful. I'm sure that this was a word for the congregation to get ready for the transition but it also spoke to me in a different way and I was able to apply it to my current situation.  I recently took a certification test to teach and I failed. Yep, missed it by 12 points. Boo. All well, nothing I can do but try again. I failed the test but I'll only be a failure if I don't try again. And I plan on doing just that, trying again. I will pass that test. Maybe I failed it because well, I simply didn't know the material. Or maybe God needed to see how much I trusted in him. Maybe he wanted to see just how prayerful, available, flexible and hopeful I really am. He opened a door that basically was off the market and I took it. The job I'm looking for? No. The job I want to do forever? No. But I made myself available, flexible, and was hopeful that something would come along until I pass my test. And it did. I will be the administrative assistant for the 5th/6th grade at Life School Cedar Hill. It's a job and I will be working with some wonderful people.

A couple of other things that stood out to me this Sunday that Pastor Gray said: Sometimes the miracle is getting you out of the problem. Sometimes the miracle is getting you through the problem. So true, so true.

And last but not least: Thank God for what he has done. And thank God that he is not done. I've seen the works of God time and time again. But I am so thankful that he is not done showing us his goodness and mercy.

I also mentioned having some questions answered so stay tuned............. you won't want to miss it.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Connecting with Women in the Church

Until recently, I had never really experienced the true friendship of women in the church. At the last church we attended and miss dearly, I had wonderful friends. Friends that still today i know I could have lunch with, call on for prayer, etc. But because we lived so far away and could never really be involved in anything, it was hard to develop a deeper relationship with them other than being able to see each other on Sundays. It was the one thing I hated the most. I wanted that deep connection and to be able to hang out but the distance just didn't allow for it. 

In September, we made the hard decision to attend church closer to home so we could be more involved and get the boys involved. I am so happy that we have found a church home at The Avenue! The thing that caught our attention the most about this church was the children's program. It is simply amazing. Malachi absolutely can't wait to get there on Sunday mornings. He LOVES it. He has learned so many bible verses and is retaining them. lol Lawson is enjoying it more now that the separation phase is coming to a halt. I honestly can't say enough great things about Little Avenue. 

Along with the amazing kids program and amazing church, we were able to hook up with an amazing Life Group. The thing I enjoy most about it, the women in it. Some of them I was already friends with and now I have made new friends. They are all wonderful women. I love the times when we get to hang out. One of my most favorite things: the No Drama!! This group is truly what I have been looking for. A group of women desiring to follow God with all their heart, have fun, laugh and eat, hang out, and just love life. 

Another wonderful way I was able meet some awesome women was by joining the boot camp at our church. 2 things: I've lost weight and I've made some wonderful friends. I have had more fun than I thought I could working out and sweating my booty off. What's made it so great? The women in the group with me. It's actually nice to end the day sweating and killing myself when I'm doing it with people I truly enjoy. 

I didn't realize how important this was and what a big part in my life this would play. I am so tired of dealing with drama that amounts to nothing and I swear, somehow someway it always creeps back in to my life from people who don't know the meaning of growing up. This is not a plug to say that friends outside of the church are not important and that we should get rid of any friends that we go to church with. But I am saying there is something wonderful about making connections within your church and carrying those friendships outside of the walls of the church. There is nothing I enjoy more than hanging out on a Saturday night, laughing and having a good time, and then standing beside those same women on Sunday mornings worshiping God. There's a sweet relief in it. I am so thankful for these women that I have met and am able to share life with. I encourage you as a woman, if your not connected with women in your church, do it! 

Monday, April 29, 2013

Nothing too Exciting....

School is coming to an end!! I can't believe we are almost in the month of May. It seems like the weeks are going by fairly quickly but the days often seem to drag on. And usually, I can't even remember what day we are on. :) It seems like every time I blink, we are adding something else to the calendar. We have a lot going on between now and then (May 24, last day for teachers) and a whole lot after. This summer we get to spend an entire month with our family in Florida. I'm sure there will be a whole lot of bribing and hearing from the Lord to get us to stay and move down there. ;) Then when we return, we will spend a little time in Arkansas and then bam, it will be time for school again.

I've been doing bootcamp since January and I must say, I love it!! It has definitely helped me lose some weight and overall be healthy. So thankful for the girls I work out with. It's also a good little hour away from home to just be with some other friends. This week, Nick and I started training for our first 5k. Not trying to be on an Olympic team, not trying to beat anyone else's record. We are doing it for us! Plus, we decided we need to show our boys that we care about our bodies and that we need to be healthy. Malachi will even "work out" with us sometimes. I love taking this little run with Nick. It gives us time together and do something we are both learning to enjoy. Although pushing a double stroller with two toddlers in it is a challenge by itself. 

Nick finished track early this month so we have very much enjoyed having him home in the evenings. And of course I love this time change which gives us even more time to spend together. I'll try and keep you updated on all our adventures and even a few changes that will hopefully take place soon. I know, nothing that exciting in this post. Just a little update for the month of April. 

Sunday, March 31, 2013

A Little Piece of Heaven.....

Today was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day! Easter is my favorite holiday. This day being the day our Savior defeated the grave. I am so thankful that He is Risen!! The tomb is empty. This day for that reason is by far the most important reason to celebrate Easter. But there is also another reason I love this holiday so much.... The memories I have from childhood.

Every Easter, cousins and friends would come to church, everyone dressed in their finest: lace, gloves, bonnets, button up shirts (big deal for my brother back then). I can see us sitting in church, squirming in our seats, trying not to get in trouble but we knew when church was over, it was time to hunt eggs. It wasn't just about the hunt but being with your favorite cousins and friends that you only see once in a while. Granny would always stay for just a little bit to watch us hunt and then she would walk down to the house to get Easter lunch ready for the whole family.

Going to Granny and Grandpa's house is something I'll never forget, especially on this day. I can still see Granny standing out on the porch to see if the egg hunt was over, waiting for us all to slowly make our way to the house. Once everyone left the church and we made it down to Granny and Grandpa's, the feast was on. Big shade trees in the front yard, perfect to sit under while we ate our lunch. I can hear everyone talking and laughing having a blessed day. And of course, we (the kids) were fast eaters because what a better thing to do than to hunt eggs, again.

I'm trying to type without crying but the tears somehow keep making their way to my eyes. Even today, when it was just me alone, I sat and cried thinking of how I just wish I could of had an Easter Sunday with Granny and Grandpa and my boys. The boys would have loved them. Malachi was 2 the last time he saw Granny. I think of all the things they would have done with them like they did with me and my brother.

I was sitting there remembering our Sundays together and then I began thinking of the Easter Sunday they are spending up in Heaven. Grandpa walking without a limp, no cancer, and ears that can hear perfectly. Granny with a good heart and good legs to walk on. As I looked outside, the sun shining so bright and beautiful, the weather feeling amazing, I felt like there was a little piece of heaven with me here today. I felt like Granny and Grandpa were here and it was Easter Sunday like I remember. Because this morning in church, you could hear the downpour of the rain and I was expecting a dreary Sunday afternoon. In some ways, I think God just wanted us to have another Easter Sunday like we did when I was a kid. I wasn't with blood family but with amazing friends that have became our family. Everyone came over, we ate, the kids hunted eggs, and we just sat around laughing and talking just like we did under those shade trees.

Things aren't always the way we hope for them to be, sometimes they are far from the picture we imagined. But it's days like today that I believe God knows that sometimes we just need to go back home even if it's just with a reminder like a bright sunny Easter day.

Happy Easter!!!

Friday, March 29, 2013

That's My Husband!

Nearly every single blog I have written has something to do with the two boys. Malachi did this...Lawson did that....and rarely do I mention the man I call husband. And to my defense, isn't that what most blogs are about?  Your (Our) life with your (our) kids, their accomplishments, the funny things they do. When we mention our significant other it's usually because of a special occasion. It's either their birthday or an anniversary. So today, with no special occasion on our plate, I'm writing about my husband, my best friend.

I can remember way back when, when I would pray for the husband I wanted, the one thing I always added was: Lord, please let him like sports. I played basketball all my life and I loved it. So naturally, I wanted to share something like that with my husband. I thought of how we would watch sports together, play them in the yard with our kids, be the sports crazy parents, etc. Well, be careful what you pray for. My husband is a sport lovin' FREAK! He can tell you about players and games that happened in years that he shouldn't remember because he was so little. He doesn't care that he can't understand the announcers because they are speaking Spanish. He will still watch the soccer game. I got what I ask for, right?? :)  And the day I married that sport's fanatic was the BEST day ever!!! (If only pinterest would have existed then.)
He just finished his 6th year of coaching basketball. He coaches Jr. High girls. When he first started, he was coaching 7th and 8th grade girls. He would randomly come home and ask "Why do girls laugh at everything? Why do they cry so much?" I would just laugh and say that's what middle school girls do. It seems that he has found his love in coaching. Not gonna lie, this past year was one of the hardest on us because of basketball. It requires a lot of time away from home.  And as much as I dread the time he is away, I support him 100%. He loves it so I like it. And I will be there as much as I can to cheer him on.  
 There is absolutely no other job that he takes more pride in than being a dad to his two sons. He simply defines an incredible dad. When he found out Malachi was a boy, I'm not sure there could have been a light that shined brighter than his face. And then a second boy, he was on fire! He loves having two boys that he can rough house with, play sports with, watch sports with, etc. And yes, these two little ones are going to be crazy sports people just like their father. Our oldest already names players and their numbers, along with who they play for.....Half of which I have no clue what he's talking about. Nick is very patient as a dad. He is a great example to them. I could never say enough about how good of a dad he is. He's top notch in my book.
Most of you know Nick as a laid back, kinda quiet, doesn't get too excited about much kind of guy. If only you could see him at home. He's quite the character I tell ya. Ski goggles and gloves in the middle of summer just because. Snuggie on backwards- first he was pretending to be on Project Runway, then all of a sudden he turned in to a Jedi. I can't imagine laughing with anyone else the way I do with him. It makes life more fun when you can spend it with someone who likes to have fun. He constantly has me laughing. 

Family. Family is very important to Nicky. This is him and his younger brother just doing what they do. No seriousness when picture is being taking. He loves his family with his whole heart and I love that about him. He and his brothers have these inside jokes that ARE NOT funny. Well, they are not funny at least to the outside world but to them, they are hilarious.

My husband is an amazing man. He's such a hard worker. Even when the job isn't his, he does it. He's the guy you want in your corner. I love this man and this blog certainly doesn't do justice to all the wonderful things I think and know about him. But I wanted to make it publicly known how great I think he is and to let him know how much I love him!!! 

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Spring Break 2013- Chills and Thrills

Spring Break is quickly coming to an end. Technically, I guess it already has since the weekend would have happened anyway. Our original plans were to send the boys to Arkansas to spend the week with my parents and we were going to stay here, paint our bedroom, do laundry, shampoo the carpet....the list goes on. But, after all was said and done we decided we would go as well and spend some time with the fam. 

Unfortunately, we didn't get to spend a lot of time outside because it was so CHILLY! The temperature never got above 50. Boo. All well, we still had a good time spending the week together. My parents dog loves treeing squirrels, well anything really. He had this squirrel treed for 3 days, so we decided it was time to put an end to all the non-stop barking. That's right! Nick killed his first squirrel. It was quite entertaining especially for Buster (the dog). I may have been more excited than Nick was. :)  And of course, since Nick shot something, Malachi had to as well. My mom took him out and he shot a paper plate. He was so excited.

We came home Thursday night. We wanted to be in our own beds a few days before we had to go back to work. It's always sad leaving family, but it's so nice sleeping in my own bed. We had plans to go to the zoo Friday but I ended up having to take Lawson to the dr. Poor thing sounded like he had the flu and really hadn't slept in 4 nights. It ended up being a double ear infection, oddly enough. I guess I didn't realize you could have fever with just an ear infection. Since Lawson was acting fine we took the boys bowling Friday evening. Malachi had watched Tom and Jerry bowl and has wanted to go since then. He absolutely loved it. We probably should have put his name on the board twice so he could have a few more turns...patients were short. ;) 

Today, our sweet friends invited us to a crawfish boil. Neither Nick nor myself had ever tried crawfish. It was actually really good. Of course, Steve is just one of the best cooks ever. Crawfish, sausage, corn on the cob and potatoes, all accompanied by some delicious dessert. We had a great time visiting with wonderful friends and eating amazing food.

It was nice to just relax and not have any big plans to attend. The drive to Arkansas is always crappy but always worth it to see family. We also were able to go to one of my nephews pee wee basketball games. We've had a great break! Summer plans have been made for Florida. Now we just gotta knock these last 10 weeks of work out and summer break will be here!!!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Remember, It Starts at Home

From the time our boys were born - and before, of course, - we pray for them and over them. Malachi is old enough that he prays before bedtime instead of us having to lead him. One day soon, Lawson will also be able to pray without us leading him. From the time they were born, we have and still are teaching them the importance of being kind to everyone. No matter their economic status, color, the car they drive, the house they live in, etc....just be kind. From the time they were born we have tried and still are teaching them to respect those around them. It all Starts at Home.

 We have been doing a 6 week bible study titled, you guessed it, "It Starts at Home." It's been a wonderful series on things that should start at home. For instance, your child's knowledge of Jesus. Do you teach them at home about the love of Christ or do you wait for the church to do it because "that's their job?" We should be doing the teaching and letting the church reinforcing. If our kids see us live out the love of Christ in our home then, I believe they are far more apt to live out the love of Christ when they step out of their front door. It Starts at Home.

 Our kids, well at least this is true for my boys, pick up on every little action and word that Nick and I do and say. While driving the other day, me and the boys were stuck in traffic, and seriously though, people just wouldn't drive right. :) And from the back seat I hear from Malachi, Ugh!, these people are getting on my nerves. Let's go people! What was I gonna say when he had just heard me say it the day before and probably the day before that. One night, as we were laying in bed, Malachi had the hiccups and he could not go to sleep. He said, "Mommy, will you pray for my hiccups to go away?" Well, being the doubting Thomas I am sometimes, I thought to myself, praying is not gonna help those go away. But then it was almost like the Lord came down and got in my face, in a loving way of course, and said, "Haven't you been teaching him to pray and ask me to help him with whatever his needs are and I will?" So, I began to pray for his hiccups that God would just take them away and help him to go to sleep. I said amen and he never hiccuped again. Malachi believed Jesus would help because we had taught him from the time he could comprehend that Jesus can help in even the smallest of things. The next day he ran up to his daddy and said daddy, Jesus helped my hiccups. It Starts at Home.

 It frustrates me when I hear people constantly saying, well if they wouldn't have taken prayer out of school this wouldn't have happened. Guess what? No one took prayer away from your kids. Teach them to pray at home and to pray when they leave their front door. I would love for principals and and teachers to be able to pray out loud for our kids and over kids. But just because they can't do it out loud, doesn't mean it can't happen in silence. If we teach our kids at home, then chances are they will do it outside the home. Do your kids see you pray? I can remember very distinctly the old, ugly, green plastic (maybe not plastic but it sure wasn't leather) couch I had growing up. Every night before bed, I always saw my Momma knelt by the couch praying. I love that that is one of my most vivid memories growing up. I want our boys to see us pray.

 We obviously can't control every action and every spoken word that our kids do and say once they are out of our sight (sometimes even when they are in our sight). But I do believe that if we can start at home teaching them the important things, and there are clearly way more areas that I didn't talk about, I believe our kids will be more inclined to follow these teachings when we are not around. We're not perfect and we are certainly gonna fail. But by God's grace and mercy, we can raise men and women of God starting in our home.

 Here are a couple of family activities that we have done and others in the bible study shared. They are family activities and have great lessons behind them. If you try one of them, let me know how it went. How did your kid's respond?

 1. Supplies: tube of toothpaste for each kid participating and a plate or any space really for them to squeeze the tube out on, and a toothpick
 *Have each child squeeze all the toothpaste out as fast as they can. (every kid loves a good race)
 *When you notice all of the toothpaste almost all squeezed out, give them an incentive, like $5, $10, whatever you choose...
 * order to get that money, they have to get all of the toothpaste back in the tube with the toothpick (impossible)
 *Once they've tried for a bit teach them a lesson. When words leave our mouth, we can't take them back. Proverbs 18:21 21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
 James 3:9-12 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
 2. The trust game
 * Mom or dad be the catcher as the other explains what to do. So if dad is the catcher, mom you fall back in to his arms. (dad please catch her) ;) Dad, before they fall, tell them that they can trust you even though they can't see you.
 * Then let each of your kids take a turn. (we did this one with the boys, well Malachi at least)
 * Lesson: Even though we can't see God we can trust him because He says it in his word.
 Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Random Post For A Busy Life

Malachi started the TOT program this year at his school and he loves it. There's no competition, it's simply learning skills and also learning academics along with the skills. I think it's a wonderful program. Keeps them active and teaches them as well. Last Saturday they performed at the American Airlines Center as the pregame show to the Harlem Globetrotters. I cannot even begin to tell you how excited he was. Patience was not his strong point at this event. ;) All he wanted to do was get out on the floor where the Mavs play and he just couldn't grasp that we had to wait until it was time perform. Anyway, they did an AWESOME job. Ms. TOT (Kelley) is an amazing teacher. All the kids love her. Depending on our summer schedule will depend on basketball. But I think we will let him play this year if he wants too. Malachi is loving his pre-K class and daily continues to learn something new. The other day he asked me where I lived and I replied: Texas. Then I asked him where he lived. His reply: North America. Well alrighty then smarty pants. I'm so thankful for Ms. Lindee and Ms. Jill. 
I'm pretty sure Nick has been eaten by a basketball. It's definitely been a tough 5 months with him being gone from 7 in the morning until 7/8 at night. And the following weeks are no exception. It's time for the playoffs.  Coaches wives ya feel me??? I've been spending A LOT of time with just me and the boys. We have date nights at least twice a week, mostly because I don't wanna cook for just the three of us which would really mean myself because they wouldn't eat anyway. I've also recently joined a bootcamp. Lauren is an amazing instructor. She's so motivating and really makes you feel like you can do it even though you are about to die. She loves what she does and I think that makes a big difference. I'm really glad to be in the group and meet new people from the church. 

Since I had a scoop on Malachi, I guess I will give Lawson is spotlight. :) This little boy his an amazing go getter. He is constantly picking up on things that we say or his brother says/does. I love watching these two play together even though they have discovered the art of brotherly fights. Some of my favorite things to hear him say are: ye mam (yes mam), tank tu (thank you), mal mo (wal-mart), Chi (Malachi) it told (it's cold) pish (fish), o  k. He's definitely his own person and that's ok with me. I'm glad that they are different and the same in their own ways. I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Color....Through the Eyes of a Child

I recently was thinking about what a lady had said to my sister-in-law in Target, I believe it was, along with  my sweet niece Grace. (see their beautiful family below. Oh, and that's my handsome nephew, Patrick.) A lady asked Callie, "Where is she from?" My sister-in-law was caught off guard so she belly. I thought that was a great answer. Probably because I would have responded with a smartelic answer and my words would not have been very kind. But it got me to thinking.                                      
Have you ever wondered why your child, my 4 year old, color their dog purple or their cat green? I mean, you know they've never seen one walking around. Or why do they color mommy red and daddy pink? Why? Because kids don't see color or at least it doesn't matter to them. They don't care that their dog is purple. They just care that mommy and daddy or their teacher think that they did a good job. So, as they get older, we teach them that they can't color the dog purple or the cat green. Those colors are not "real" colors of those animals. We teach them the way we want to see their work, their coloring's  their drawings. We teach them by seeing color. 

And sadly enough, as they get older, we teach them to see people as color. I'm white (clearly) and my husband is black. (clearly) :) Never once has my 4 year old questioned why his mommy is one color and his daddy is another color. Why? Because he doesn't care. He sees us as his mommy and daddy. Until someone makes it a "big" deal, he more than likely will never question it. We don't run our household by color, but with God and love for each other. If you want to teach your child about color, then teach them it doesn't matter. Teach them that everyone is created equal. See color through their eyes. 

Saturday, January 26, 2013

What Kind of Mom Are You?

I recently had a girl's night with a wonderful group of friends. We spent a lot of time sharing things about our lives and just really expressing the way we feel as a woman and as a mom. It was amazing the things that were said because for the most part, no one thought they had anything to share. But it was like, everyone had something bottled up inside of them that they didn't know about and we all really needed to share that. Get it off our chest. Talk to someone who would understand us and not judge us. Come to find out....we all had a lot of the same feelings. The same feelings of sadness, guilt, anxiety..... We were all just women/moms trying to juggle our so called perfect lives, when in reality, we are far from perfect. 

And with all that said brings me to this..... What kind of mom are you? I thought about this from a mom's perspective but in reality many women, whether they have kids or not, want to portray that they have a perfect little life, when on the inside they are dying to just be real.

We live in a world of pinterest, facebook, fitness magazines, the blog world.... a world where we, as moms, are constantly comparing ourselves to the next mom. It's hard to just be us when the next mom is over there making a three foot dinosaur cake for their son's birthday party, the other mom is doing her daughter's room with a running water fall, or this mom looks like she did when she was 16 even though she has three kids. "If only I could be like her." "If only I could do that." How many times have we secretly said this to ourselves? 

The pictures we put on facebook are probably 9 times out of 10 not what our houses looked like yesterday or in some cases, an hour ago.  There is no way I would show you what my house looks like by the time Saturday night arrives in fear you may call the cops that my house is unfit and unclean for my boys to live here. :)  But why not show you that?? That is the real life Cowan house. That's how my house really looks on a Saturday night, unless you tell me you are coming to visit, and then I guarantee you it will look like a housekeeper just came or at least that I had been cleaning all day. What you'll never this?

Yep, that's my laundry room and all the laundry I have done this week and still have not put away. Oh, stop gasping for air, I'm sure at some point in your perfect life, you too have had a pile of laundry like this. I just haven't had time to put it away. Maybe today that will be my task to complete, maybe not. But I know one thing, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm just going to be thankful that we have clothes to wear and until they are put away, start digging husband and kids to find what you need. My friend said she found herself always trying to take a picture of her little boy doing something cute that she actually missed the moment. How many times have we done this? We are concentrating so much on putting it on facebook that we miss the actual moment of what they are doing and then we try to get them to recreate that moment just so we can take the picture. She also mentioned a family picture she had on facebook and it's such a good picture. Perfect family shot. She said, "What you don't know is right before or after, I think before she said, is my son was having a complete meltdown. Tantrum of all tantrums." Did we see that picture? Of course not because that is not what a perfect family picture looks like or is it?

What about Pinterest? Do you constantly find yourself trying to bake and cook every delicious thing you repin? Do you constantly daydream about having the money to redo your laundry room the way that pin shows it or having a flower garden that looks like something in a magazine? Oh I do. All.the.time. Especially the birthday party ideas. Something you may not know about me is I love throwing parties!! I love decorating for them the most. Every year, I stress more over the decorations for my boys parties than over my pile of laundry. Clearly. I have all these great ideas or I simply wish I could rent this place out or do this for them but guess what, we don't have that kind of money! I see others throwing these extravagant parties for their kids and a small part of me just wishes I could do something like for my boys. But guess what? Malachi and Lawson don't care about how much their party cost. I always make their cake/cupcakes. Not because I'm sentimental and it's really something special I want to do for them, but because I can't bring myself to spend $30 on a cake when I can bake one for about $3. And the decorations.....yep, all homemade by yours truly. Why? Because I don't want to spend money, money that I don't have, on "real" decorations. And it wasn't until this year that I became ok with homemade stuff. I made a scoreboard for Malachi's Mavericks party. Who knew a box, with some white paper wrapped around it, and a black sharpie would be his favorite thing at the party. (It's still hanging in the playroom.) The cost of that scoreboard? Nothing. I had everything but the box and luckily my friend just moved so she had plenty of boxes. 
It certainly wasn't a fancy party but to him it was the best party ever. Not because it cost a lot of money, but because I used what I had to make it a special day for him. We want to be that mom that has those extravagant parties and everyone just goes on and on about how wonderful it was. I promise you this, my four year old, your ? year old, does not care about the cost, he/she cares that you took time out of your day to make them feel special. That's all. 

So you have two kids and feel like you look like you have 5? I know how you feel. Why? Because that mom you just read about on that blog or saw on tv or read about in a magazine, is a whopping 120lbs and she just had her 4th child. Mom's may I remind you what those little critters do to our bodies. They stretch them in ways we didn't think were possible. And then when they get here, they run us ragged until all we want to do is sleep on some sheets that haven't been peed on that day or spit up on that night. Who cares that you've been wearing the same pants and shirt for three days in a row and haven't brushed your teeth in two days.  Reality? You are a mom! That's what our life is now. Going to the store with spit up on my shirt, stare if you want too but I have a precious baby at home (no, Lawson doesn't spit up anymore) who is healthy and full of giggles and I am ok with having spit up on my shirt. Oh, and you think I'm wearing a fanny pack under my shirt? Wrong. It's just my after baby belly. I still haven't figured out whether to tuck that sucker in my pants or let it hang out. And since you thought I was wearing a fanny pack, I guess I'm letting it hang out today. I'm trying to get back in a little shape, I even joined a boot camp. (what was I thinking??) But you know what I realized, I'm never going to look like those moms on tv who just had a baby two days ago and are now a size two again and I'm ok with that. I'm working out to feel good for me. My husband thinks I look fine and he has never said, "Man, I wish you were a size 2." But the truth is, we all wanna look like we use to before kids and maybe one day we will. But until then, be happy with the body you have. Eat healthy, workout if you want to but don't be pressured to kill yourself just because that mom can run a marathon while breastfeeding and doing homework with her 1st grader. God gave you a bundle of joy not so you could look at yourself and say how disgusting you look or how fat you feel, but because he knew what an incredible mother you would be. And those stretch marks.......Oh sister, those stretch marks have taken over my stomach. And I don't care!! I secretly like to call them my battle scars. Lord knows, having a kid is sometimes like fighting a battle. It hurts like nothing else and for the love of God, can it just be over with. But every time I look at those stretch marks I'm reminded of the two amazing gifts that were given to me and I would do it all over again even if I knew my stomach would look like it did. 

It doesn't matter what kind of mom you are.....super crafty, awesome cook, can't boil an egg, fitness guru, wishes you could walk to the end of the street without panting, paper airplanes are as crafty as I get, etc. just be the best mom YOU can be. At the end of the day, if your sink is filled with dishes, (10xs10 mine always is) your laundry isn't done, you didn't buy your kid a big fancy cake and it's homemade, be ok with yourself. Look in the mirror and say, you did good today. You are still alive. You are not perfect but no one is. Tomorrow is another chance to do something else. Let's stop comparing ourselves and portraying every part of our lives as perfect and just live in the moment for that day. People say it all the time and I'm now realizing how true it is.....They grow up way too fast. I don't want to miss a minute because I was trying to be someone else besides the mommy they needed me to be. God gave them to me because he knew who I was and that I was the best mommy for them. I will choose to do the best I can and not worry about what could have been. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

Let's Try This Again...

After a long year of not having internet, we finally are back on the map. :) Internet was one of the things we decided to get rid of in order to pay some bills off. Man, that was harder than I thought it would be. However, I am happy to report that some bills have decreased and both cars are now paid off!! Thank the Lord!

The boys have grown so much over the past year. Malachi turned 4 and Lawson turned 1. They have recently started fighting like brothers truly do. And all at the same time, love each other so much. I love watching them together. I'm learning a lot through the eyes of boys and wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.

I'm happy that I can start blogging again even though I'm not a blogger. But it does help me remember the day to day things as well as keep my family updated on what's going on in our lives. 2013 is sure to be a year of changes and a lot of those changes are beginning with me. I recently joined a bootcamp. (What was I thinking!?) It is a good thing for me and really pushes me to be the best I can and to get a little bit back to the athletic person I use to be. Maybe one day I'll make to running a 5k.

That's gonna be all for this first post. Just wanted to shout out and let you know I'm back!!! :)