Monday, July 15, 2013

Tonight I Met With God

Tonight I started running again. While we were on vacation I did basically nothing in the form of working out. I ran a couple of times and rode the stationary bike a couple of times. The end.  Vacation doesn't really scream "run a mile" to me. Tonight however, I got a little more than just a good run in. I also had a run in with God.

I started work today and that was not easy. Not because the job is hard and I can't manage it but because I left my baby at home. Again. I remember when I had to go back to work when Malachi was a baby and it knotted the pit of my stomach and today was certainly no different. I act tough but on the inside, this momma was in tears just as I am now typing. (I think I cry more the older I get.) It helps that Nick is home with them for these next two weeks but after that, the thought of Lawson going to daycare, in the care of someone else, it breaks my heart.

But tonight, tonight God reminded me that he is faithful and that I am a good momma. All day, the devil pulled at me, pushed me around on the inside, telling me how bad of a mom I was for leaving my boys. What a bad mom you are for letting someone else take care of them. He tried to knock me out today but the God I serve said not today. Today is a day that you take back what the devil has stole from you all day. You take back the joy that you have in knowing that you are a good momma and good momma's help provide for their kids. I knew all of this before but tonight God had to remind me of that.

For the first half mile tonight this song was playing on my phone:
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
I'm reaping the harvest God promised me
Take back what the devil stole from me
And I rejoice today, for I shall recover it all

I could feel that the Lord was starting to speak to me. I knew that He was saying, hey, I've got this. I've been faithful to you before and I'll be faithful to you now. The next song was this: 
You don't have to worry
And don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning
Troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

I know that this next month will be tough with me being at work and the boys in daycare. But I also know this, I know that God has a plan for our family and this is only a stepping stone to that plan. I know that I can make it. I'm not sure yet where I'm going but with him, no matter what comes my way, I CAN MAKE IT! I truly believe that I am where God wants me right now. Even though there are still times when I'm looking ahead and the finances still don't seem to be lining up, or when the devil tries to tell me a lie, that's only the small picture. God sees the big pictures. 

I stopped running at a mile and kept walking while pushing the boys in the stroller. (Nick was long gone once I took over the stroller.) This may have been one of my favorite walks. As the song above was playing, I spent that next 5 minutes of my walking praying over my boys. The neighbors probably think I have a tick or something because I was lifting my hands, waving them over the boys, praising God.....but I didn't care. :) That was some of the best prayer time I've had in awhile. As I finished up praying we were just reaching the house and Because of Who You Are started playing. If you don't know the song please listen to it. Listen to all three of them. You will not be disappointed. I promise. As I reached the house and let the boys out to go in, I just stood at the garage and said Thank you Lord. Because of Who You Are I give you praise. Not because of the job you provided me, not because of the peace I feel right now, but just because of who you are, I give you glory. 

I'm sharing this not because I want you to think I'm some spiritual person who just runs through her neighborhood praising the Lord. I'm sharing it because I have talk to some moms out there who would give up everything if they could to be home with their babies. And there are times when satan tries to tell them that they are not good moms for going to work. Truth is, if you are helping provide for your child because that's what needs to be done, then that makes you a great mom! You do what you have to do for your family. On the flip side, maybe you are working because you love your family and your career. Maybe you're not the stay at home type. THAT'S OK TOO!!! 

Like I said before, I know that I will still be sad when the boys start back to school, but I know that I can find peace in the fact that God sees the bigger picture. I prayed over them and I know that God heard my prayers and He will take care of them. August 5 when they start back, although there will be some sadness, joy will come in the morning. 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

It's All About Family

When we planned our trip back in March, Nick mentioned how nice it would be to see the whole family since we would be in Florida for an entire month. But, he quickly responded with, I don't want everyone to get together just for me. Well, I knew I couldn't leave it at that because I know how much his family means to him. And since we live in Texas, we usually miss out on any and all get together's. I emailed my MIL and Aunt Karen to see if there was a place we could meet to eat between Venice and Gainesville and anyone who wanted to join could gladly do so. Well they did me one better. They invited everyone to spend the weekend in Gainesville (many of them live there anyway). Nejay (Nick's brother) was able to come from Alabama, his sister from Tallahassee, and many cousins from all over, even out of state. We had not seen most of them in 4 years. That's just too long! It initially was suppose to be a surprise for Nick and it was up until the last couple of weeks. But he was still pleasantly surprised and was so glad everyone was getting together. 

We all arrived on Friday night at Uncle Steve's house (he graciously opened up his home for all of us). And what makes a family get together even better?? A fish fry of course!!!! Fried Talapia, shrimp and hushpuppies.........yes please! It was delicious. The next morning we all came back together for breakfast and then had dinner together again that night. 

Saturday was a hang out do as you please kinda day. Nick and I had the opportunity to meet some cousins that we had never met. His mom had not seen this cousin in a long time so it was a wonderful treat. There was also plenty of sports watching and sports playing. Wrestling, football, baseball, watching Nascar, tennis.....and the list goes on and on. 
We had a wonderful weekend together. There were some crazy times but we all enjoyed each other's company. I mean, you have to expect a little crazy when you have 12 kids under the age of 8. ;) And that wasn't even all of the "baby" cousins. Look how cute they are.  
I think my MIL said it best in her email, "I thank the Lord for our heritage, the legacy that our parents left, and for the love and unity that we share.  Thank the Lord that the love and unity continues through the cousins.  Mom and Dad would be proud." This is definitely a tight knit family and I am so proud to call them mine. I know their parents/grandparents would be proud of them. I was grateful that I was able to see where this heritage, legacy, love and unity began. Nick always talks about his grandaddy's church and this weekend I was given a chance to see the place he has been talking about. 
I am so thankful that those that could make it did. And for those that couldn't, we greatly missed you!! Nick and I are so blessed and so thankful that you all took time to get together for us. I couldn't have asked for a better extended family. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Vacation is winding down......

We have been in Florida since June 10. It's hard to believe it has almost been a whole month since we flew out of Texas. We are enjoying spending time with our family. Uncle Nejay and Aunt Chrissy made it in last night so now we are complete. This weekend we have planned a trip to Gainesville. Most of Nick's family lives either there or in Tallahassee so we are meeting there to visit everyone. The last time we saw the whole fam was right before Malachi turned 1. So, needless to say, we have a lot of catching up to do and now everyone can meet Lawson.

Yesterday we finally made it to the beach, again. We had plans to go on Monday but it literally rained all day long. My FIL had to drain the pool twice just so it wouldn't run over. The red flag was out when we arrived and the waves were definitely crashing the shoreline. But even with all the weather we had a great time. There were some idiots of course still trying to swim out to the buoys making those poor lifeguards work double time.

I've been trying to put together some ideas for the boys birthdays. Sometimes I wish I would have never created "big" birthday parties for Malachi bc now I feel like I have to do the same for Lawson. lol On the flip side, I really like doing it. I love decorating and coming up with ideas. I usually stress myself out way more than I should, but in the end I'm happy with my accomplishments. It's never fancy with expensive decor, just a lot of homemade hosh posh. Malachi turns 5 this year and I am trying to come up with something special for his 5th birthday. So far, nothing comes to mind. And, I thought we could have a non-sports party and do something else like Green Eggs and Ham but he insists he wants a Texas Rangers party. Sigh. I guess I should be use to it by now but a mom can dream right? :)

Although I am loving spending all this time with our family, beach trips, pool access 24-7 and just having a great vacation, I think I'm ready to be back in my own bed. The boys have been on a crazy roller coaster ride with their eating habits and sleeping patterns. I dread getting them back to a school routine. We are going to start potty training Lawson when we get back. The fun thing about this? It will be all Nick during the day since I start work July 15. I know he will do great and Lawson is definitely showing signs he is ready.

We are definitely missing our friends and church. We can't wait to see you Texas family!!!!