Monday, November 2, 2015

Just As I Was

Getting ready for church yesterday morning was a struggle. The baby was crying because he wanted to be held. I still needed to get ready. My 4 year old needed his hair combed. Yes, that is a chore within itself. I couldn't find the 4 year old any shoes. The baby is still crying. I'm trying to put on my makeup with one hand while holding him in the other. I go to the nursery to change his clothes and he just isn't cooperating. (Sometimes I think it would be easier to put lipstick on a snake than get a 7 month old dress.) Words are going through my head that are not appropriate for young viewers who may be reading or for those who are much holier than thou. I was mad. I was hot. My hair was in my face. It was kind of like a small nightmare. Finally I just said, What the heck do you want from me God? (lol, I love hearing you gasp.) I finally got all three of us in the car. Wait, I still have to go get formula so he will have some for the nursery. This was not in my plans. Insert more frustration. 

We finally make it to church. I smiled. I said good morning to those I met. I dropped my babies off with a "Have a good class. Mommy will be back in a little bit." I hugged friends I hadn't seen since last Sunday. I had my church face on while inside I was beyond frustrated. Church began and I believe it was the second song we sang Jesus I come. The end of the song says:

Thank You Jesus
Just as I am I come


Oh what amazing love

This is all he wanted, for me to come just as I was. He already knew how I was feeling. He knew I was frustrated. He knew I would have rather stayed at home. He knew that I was hating saying good morning to all those chipper people. But He also knew all I had to do was come. He would do the rest. He didn't ask me to fix my attitude before I walked through the doors. He didn't ask me to put on a certain outfit before I walked through the doors. He didn't ask me to act a certain way once I got there. He just wanted me to come, just as I was. 

How often do we try and "fix" ourselves before we come to God so that He can really help us? God doesn't ask us to clean ourselves up before we come to him. (Although showering is highly recommended. Kidding) He asks us to come just as we are. He will clean us up spiritually. He will take our frustrations and fill them with joy. He will take our broken hearts and mend them back together. He will take what is dead and make it alive. (Great sermon David!) God already knows your heart you just have to come. 

Later that night when I was rocking our 7 month old to sleep, I began to sing Come to me you weary one, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Take me upon you. And I will give you rest.

I sat there and thought about how my morning went and how he wanted me just as I was. He wanted me. Just me. The good, the bad and the ugly. He wanted the frustrated me just as I was.

Don't think you've got to clean up before you come to him. He wants you just as you are. He'll do the cleaning himself.