Here I am once again writing about a topic that I just don’t
understand how it keeps happening. Racism. In the last two weeks, three black
individuals that we know of, have been killed because of the color of their
skin. As I sit here, I ask the question, what is it that white people don’t
like about the color of my husband’s skin? What is it that drives the hate
behind the mask? I say mask, because many of our friends are kind and loving to
our family because they know Nick. They know he’s a good guy. (You are right,
you have heard this before. Unfortunately, you are doing nothing about it.) Anyway,
there is a mask that rests on your face of I know him so I know he’s good vs
the man being murdered on the video must have done something first.
The videos circle of another black individual being killed
and the first thing you say is, “There must be more to the story.” Or maybe you
say, “He/she must have done something. They wouldn’t just kill him.” Then you
begin to dig. You search and search for something that will pop up from their
past so that you can breathe a sigh of relief for your feelings of “They must
have done something wrong and look here, I found this. 5 years ago he was
arrested for_______. You fill in the blank since it’s your justification.” You
push back and you fight because maybe, just maybe they actually did nothing
wrong and this is another cruel and evil act of a white person using what they
believe is their superiority over someone they see as less than them because of
the color of their skin.
Stop saying white people. We are not all racists. I’m so
tired of headlines reading White man kills black man. White officer kills black
man. White White White. Well flip it around then and think about how it must
feel to be on the other end of it ALWAYS being a black person that is the one
being killed. Black man shot running. Black woman shot sleeping. Black man shot
in his recliner. Black Black Black. This is what makes you uncomfortable. This
is what makes you look the other way. These are the conversations that are hard
because this is what is going to continue to happen until WHITE people get over
their sense of being superior, their feeling of “I don’t know what to do or
say.” SAY SOMETHING. Read the books. Listen to the podcasts. Do some research. Yes
I am saying to have the hard conversations with your black friends but don’t
rely on them to do all the work for you. I have never heard something more true
than when Pastor Steven Ivey said, “I am sick and tired of your Facebook
messages and text messages that privately affirm me and my skin but don’t stand
for me at your dinner table, in the marketplace, or in the front of law and
policy makers.”
Yes, I want you to stand beside me and my family. I want you
to love my husband and my boys but I also want you to love my friend’s son
Josiah, our friend’s daughter Lucy, our friends Dustin and Cortez, my in-laws
and extended family. You see, you don’t know those individuals and because you
don’t know them, you can’t trust them or at least this is what you have led
yourself to believe. I don’t just want my family to grow up with people
standing for them, I want every black person that has breath to be awarded the
same dignity and respect that you would give my family. Not because you know
them but simply because they are human.
We have gotten away from the love that we so often preach
about. “Love your neighbor as yourself. Mark 12:31) I would say we do love like
this as long as the person looks like us and believes the way we do and we do
it well, but that is not what the verse says. It says to love your neighbor. To
my knowledge, there is no adjective in front of the word neighbor. It does not
say love your white neighbor, your black neighbor, your skinny neighbor, your
stay at home mom neighbor, your rich neighbor, etc. It simply says, your
neighbor meaning EVERYONE and yet, we still do not do this.
People will ask us, how can we help? What can we do? My
husband and I will look at each other sometimes blankly because the easy answer
is, just love everyone. Of course we
know this isn’t going to happen so we say this. Have the hard conversations.
Talk to your kids. Invite people into your home that do not look like you and
share life stories. When they share, listen. Be the example of the change you
want to see. I don’t always know what to say because it is hard and I don’t
have all the answers but I can say something. I can share stories. I can share
what I know and what I hear my husband say. I listen to other peoples stories
and I can learn from their experiences. I can be a voice and not stay silent.
These words are not enough. They don’t even scratch the
surface of what is going on around us. I can’t adequately describe the
injustice that is happening to black individuals on a daily basis. Black people
do not need our help simply because they are black but because they are human.
They took their first breath the same way that you and I did but far too often
their last breath is never in the same way that we will take ours.
