Thursday, January 2, 2014

More of a Life Long Goal than a New Year's Resolution

This year we spent Christmas with my family in Arkansas. We had a great time with cousins, our niece and nephews. We were able to watch my nephew play basketball. He's a senior this year and so I'm afraid our "time" with him is getting slimmer and slimmer. ;)

As I laid in bed last night trying to go to sleep, I thought about how much I love going home. I love driving through my high school town. I love driving up the mountain thinking about all the times I've driven back and forth on that road. And at night, by yourself, it seems you always "see" someone out in the woods or feel someone in your back seat. I'm so glad I have three passengers with me now. I love popping up over the small little hill before my mom and dads house, seeing their car and breathing a sigh of I'm back home. I miss home. I miss the sound of a crackling fire place or now, sitting by a 5 burner stove. I miss the sound of the box fan and the feel of the electric blanket as we lay our heads to sleep. I miss the sound of crickets on a still summer night. I miss the sight of lightning bugs all across the fields. I laugh now at how exciting it actually is when a car passes by and you wonder who it is and where they are going. :) I miss sitting up late at night and watching tv with my mom as we turn it up louder and louder only to drown out my dad's snoring. These are just a few things about my home I miss. 

And then I thought about my husbands home. I miss the morning rain showers that make you think your day at the beach is ruined but then it only lasts for 20 minutes and out comes the beautiful sun. I miss the sound of the ceiling fan in the bunk bed room. It is the perfect noise for falling asleep. I miss the sound of the sliding doors when someone is going in or out of the bathroom. I even miss the sound of those stupid frogs at night that won't let you sleep. But if your not sleeping, there is something soothing about them. I miss my FIL's homemade apple pies. I miss seeing my MIL sitting under the hair dryer as she falls asleep studying for her Sunday School lesson. I miss my brother and sister in law coming over with their kids. There is a small part of me that misses my BIL and husband laughing at the nonsense things no one can understand but them. I miss when we all 6 get to come home and sleep in the same house, find a spot to sleep and claim it. 

All of these things I mentioned, they didn't make those houses a home and they are not even the things that make me want to go back. What made them a home is the love from the two people that live in each of them. Every home has some hard times and times that really make you stop and think. But the love that comes from each of these, make me want to go back and take my kids back. 

That, that is my life long goal. To make my home a place my kids want to come back too. There are certainly some things I am going to try and accomplish this year. I hate saying I'm making a resolution because as soon as I do, I break it. So, I just try and come up with a few goals I would like to accomplish and pray I can do that. For instance, keep my house a little cleaner not just when we are going to have visitors. (Thank goodness God looks at the cleanliness of our hearts and not our homes.) Yikes. Also, I am going to try and drink at least one glass of water a day. Trust me, this is huge in my life. But my biggest goal this year is to make my home a place my boys feel loved. They are young, I get it. They won't be moving out anytime soon. And, I am more than certain that they know we love them. But I want it to be more than that. I want them to want to come home. Even from school, I want them to be excited to come home and share their day with us. I don't want it to be a place they dread coming to. I want them to know we have time for them. I'm ready to make our family time more of a priority. I know there will be days when we just want to come home and crash and that's ok. But I want to do more things with our boys. I want them to want to be with us. Play games, jump on the trampoline, family game nights, etc. 

I'm realizing these days just how precious time really is. And really, this may all sound silly to you. But I'll be the first to admit, my phone and especially facebook, have had way more of my time than my kids have. It's almost like I'm more worried that I will miss something going on in someone else's life than I am missing the moments right in front of me. I'm not going to stop getting on FB but I am going to monitor my time more and make sure my kids and husband are first priority. It's just not worth it. I mean, I have a 5 year old now who will be starting kindergarten this coming year. Really?? Where did the last 5 years of his tiny self go?? My kids mean the world to me and so does my husband. I want to have more husband time too. More date nights, more time with just the two of us. but it's certainly not not doable. So be on the look out, I may be asking you to watch some cute little boys so we can have a date night here and there. ;) 

I'm so thankful we always have a home we can go back to and visit. I pray that one day my boys will sit and think of the things they miss about our home and just smile when they finally reach the point they can see our car in the driveway. 

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