Friday, March 25, 2011

Queen of the House!

That's right, I said it. I am now officially queen of the house. Wednesday we found out we are having another little boy, Nicholas Lawson Cowan. We plan on calling him Lawson. Due date: August 22. At first, I was a disappointed. I really did want a little girl. What? She was disappointed? She isn't happy? Of course I'm happy. But ANYONE who was wanting one and found out it was the other deep down inside, you feel that disappointed. And if you say you don't, well then yes, I think you are lying. Don't judge.

So moving on.....I am thrilled to be having another boy! Malachi is going to have a brother, a road dawg to hang out with and play with. I often find myself sitting and thinking about if they will be alike or if they will be different. Yesterday I started thinking, well what if one wants to play summer football and one wants to play t-ball. What will I do? I can't go to one and not the other. How will I divide myself? LOL I know, if that's all I have to worry about then I will be ok. ;) I'm now loving the thought of having boys surrounding me. The protection and the love........what a great feeling. And now, I have become QUEEN OF THE HOUSE! :)

Am I nervous about having two kids? A little. My biggest worry? Making them both feel equally loved and my attention divided. I know I will love them both the same but showing them that it just seems hard. I know it will be fine and all adjustments will be made. At least this time I don't have to be so panicked about that dagum circumcision. Geez. That stressed me out more than anything with Malachi. lol
Here is what Malachi has picked out so far for his baby bruder. I want to keep him as involved as possible and let him help make decisions. Well you know..................

Saturday, March 12, 2011

16 Weeks....

This Monday I turned 16 weeks. Why is she blogging about 16 weeks you might ask? Why not 15 or 12? Well, I'm trying to capture this pregnancy at the same times I was pregnant with Malachi. So, at 16 weeks is when I took a picture with Malachi. I'm not sure why, but this pregnancy seems like it is going by so much faster than my first one. I'm equally as excited so maybe its just that I'm not as "worried" and I know the things to expect. With Malachi, I probably called the Dr. once a week maybe once every two weeks. The only time I've called this time was to make an appointment or to find out blood test results. So....I think I'm doing pretty good. In just a few weeks we will find out what we are having. Boy or girl???? I would be lying if I said I didn't sway one way or another.....I really would love to have a little girl now. But, with all that said, as long as he/she is healthy who cares. We are trynig to find creative ways to tell our parents this time what we are having. Since we live so far away from all of them, it's hard to come up with something. With Malachi, we couldn't wait to do something creative, we called them right up to tell them He was a BOY! So hopefully when the time comes we will have thought of something, if not, we'll just call them again. lol :)
I was hoping the gagging and nausea would be over by now but it's not. I can tell it's getting better, I just want it to go AWAY completely. All in all, it's been good. I started really feeling the baby move last week (15 weeks). I can't wait for Nick and Malachi to be able to see it move and feel it. I'm wondering what Malachi will think or will he even care.

This week we are on spring break. Praise the Lord!!! Work has been crazy lately so I'm ready for a break. We are ready to spend all day everyday playing and doing things with Malachi. We also plan on getting his room painted and fixed in to a "big" boys room.

Baby #2 on the left and Malachi on the right.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

This world is not my home...

As most of you know, my sweet granny went to be with the Lord last Thursday, Feb. 24th. It's always hard losing somone so close to you. The thought of never touching her sweet face, hearing her gentle voice, and seeing her face to hurts. But, at the same time, there is joy that floods my heart. A joy from knowing she is with Jesus now. A joy from knowing that she isn't in anymore pain. A joy from knowing she is once again with my grandpa and together they are singing praises to our Lord. What a wonderful thought isn't it?

As I sat at the funeral and watched loved ones gather around one last time, to get one last glimpse, in my mind I could only think, we will see her again. As the people passed by and touched her sweet face and kissed her one last time, I could only think, that's only her body, cause she is in heaven.

For some, when a loved one passes, life and all that you have in this life, become a bigger realization and you become much more thankful for what you have and who you have in your life. And I won't say I didn't think to myself how thankful I am for my family but the bigger realization for me was HEAVEN. To sit and think of what heaven may be like is always so refreshing to me. No more pain, no more tears.....this is the place I want to be. We've all heard songs like This is my temporary home and This world is not my home......I am so thankful to know that I have a home that far exceeds any mansion on this earth.

Nick and I had a wonderful talk about heaven and death. What would we want at our funeral? Where would we be burried? For some it may be something you would never talk about but for me, it felt peaceful. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that Heaven will be my home someday. I would love to see my kids grow up and grow old with my amazing husband...but should the Lord choose me to go today, I've been saved by the blood of the Lamb and I'm ready.

Are you?