Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A Message to Stay At Home Moms

Now that I have your attention, cause let's face it, it's all about judging another mom for her decisions, right? No? Oh, cause really, that's what I feel like I read about all the time. Mom's judging mom's. Over the last couple of months I have read a few articles even some facebook posts from SAHM and their opinions. I never comment on them. I never blast my opinion about them. Because in reality, they are right. They work hard. And if anyone ever says differently, then I challenge you to stay home for a few days with your kid/s and see just what a SAHM does. They don't just play all day and pin on pinterest, they don't stay on FB all day, remember, they have a little one they have to take care of.

Now, with that being said, I am about to tell you how I really feel. And let me follow that with this, I am not writing this for you to say Preach it or feel sorry for me, tell me I'm a good mom (I know I am), really, I don't want a debate of any kind, I just want to tell you for once how I feel.

SAHMs, just like I said, if anyone ever says you don't work hard, you have the right to punch them in the throat. But let me share this with you from a mom who works outside the home. For me as a working mom, IT'S NOT ABOUT WHO WORKS HARDER. We both work hard. My day starts at 5:30 and ends somewhere at 10:30 that night. I get my kids ready for school, make lunches, go to work, teach other peoples kids, go to meetings after school, pick up my kids from school, go home try and not fall asleep because now my kids need my attention, make supper, let's face it... the house probably won't be cleaned tonight and then I try and find time to give my husband some attention. Who by the way coaches, so if he has a game that night, we drive 45 minutes to an hour some nights just so we can spend time with him. But again, it's not about who works harder. I just wanted to share all of that because you always seem to share how hard you work.

This is what it is for me. It's leaving my kids in the care of someone else whereas you get to stay home with yours. You see, when I drop my little one off and he clings to my leg crying for me not to leave him and I'm looking at him telling him I'll be back soon, fighting back the tears and I have the teacher peel him off my leg...you don't have to do that. Please be thankful.

You never have to hear, well why did you have kids if you were just going to have someone else take care of them? Please be thankful. That cuts like a knife deep down.

And now, now he loves his daycare teacher and she's all he can talk about. He asks to see her all the time, wants to tell her when he scrapes his knee. And I think, I'm your mom, I should be with you for the majority of the day but that's not an option for our family right now. Please be thankful.

 I don't always get to see or hear their firsts but the daycare worker does and chances are, you get to see and hear your little ones firsts because you're there with them. Please be thankful.

You get to spend all day playing (if you choose too. yes I know that's not all you do) hanging out making memories, I'm making sure that the 3 hours I have with them before they go to bed is enough for them to know how much I love them and I don't work because I want to but because that's what's best for our family. Please be thankful.

Remember, I stayed at home with Lawson. But I also took care of 5 other little ones just so I could stay home and it still wasn't enough. Me staying home is just not in our budget right now. We have made changes and cut things and I'm still working. And for the love of all that is good and golden, if you message me and tell me that if I would try selling this product or that product and I would be able to stay home, I will hunt you down and I will punch you in the throat.

So see, when you complain all the time about staying home and how hard it is..... I don't feel sorry for you. Because to me, it's not about how hard you work (and you do) it's about you being home with your kids and I'm not. I'll be the first to say it. I'm jealous. Everything within me wants to cuss you out and throw a fit but I won't. Honestly, because deeper down than the jealousy, I am actually happy that you get this time with your kiddos. It's precious. It's awesome that you get to see everything first hand. All I'm asking is that the next time you post something or say something mean to a mom who works outside of her home to help her family financially, that you would stop and think, I'm sure she wishes she could stay home but she can't so maybe I can just whisper a prayer for her. Maybe you could actually say something like, you're doing a good job. Or, I'm beyond thankful I get to stay home with my kids because I can't imagine how hard it would be to leave them everyday.

I'm so thankful for these past two "ice" days we've had. Two days I got to spend at home with my boys. It doesn't have to be about who's a better mom..... we both are doing what is best for our family's. We would walk through fire whether we are at home or at work for those we love.