Our First Week of School.....

Last week was our first ever......first week of kindergarten and my first week of teaching. I'm happy to report, WE ARE STILL ALIVE!! I have had two babies, woke up every two hours for feedings, still get woke up every night but never in my life have I been more tired than when I finished my first week of teaching. Was that a for real situation?!?!  Walking kids to their car for an hour in 98 degree weather just took the icing right off the cake. Every night I would come home and all but die. My body was here and breathing but my mind was in a land of zzzzzzz's. I felt so bad for the boys because they of course wanted to play but I literally couldn't move. When I would wake up in the morning, my calves felt like I had been to boot camp the night before. I would just pray, please don't let me get a charlie horse in the middle of class. :) All in all though it was a great first week. I had so much support from my co-workers. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to work with.

Malachi is absolutely loving it kindergarten! He loves his teacher, especially the treasure chest they get to pick from on Fridays. ;) He usually gets him in a good little nap between school and home in the evenings. Wiped out. I'm so thankful that I am able to see him during the day. Even just the little things like when I walked by he was using the teacher pointer and "teaching" the class. He was really just the helper. But I loved that I get to witness these first memories of him in school. (Did I mention before he even started school he asked for a pointer for his birthday??)

Lawson had a great first week in the 3's class. He had a new teacher but seems to be doing ok with her. Nick said he had a great first week too. He's an old pro at this teaching thing so he came home and was an actual living and moving human being. :)

I'm looking forward to a great year and a lot of growing!!!

                                               

A School Year of Firsts.....

This school year will be a year of firsts. For me, it will be my first year teaching!!! I will be teaching computers. Runs in the family? Maybe. (Nick teaches computers at a different campus in case you didn't know.)  This was kind of an unexpected door that opened and I was happy to jump on board. I love where I work and the teachers that work there. I love our principals and office staff. I'm nervous but oh so excited!! I love the fact that I will get to be with the kids this year. It's definitely not what I thought I would be doing but I'm happy to take the first step. Who knows, I may end of loving computers and wanting to stay here instead of teaching a grade level. I am going to miss my peeps in the other building...but I know I'll still see them everyday. :)

The other first is........Malachi starts kindergarten! Holy moly, where has the time gone??? He is so excited to be going to school. He has even practiced putting on his backpack and walking to his class. Even though he will be at school with me and I know he'll do great, it still makes me a little nervous. It's just a whole new ballgame compared to pre-school/daycare. The kinder teachers at our school are amazing so I know he will be in good hands. He's not a baby anymore. :(   School supplies, uniforms, paperwork, field trips, packing a lunch, making sure homework is in the take back folder......this is getting real people!

Stay tuned for a first day post!!!

I'm So Tired of Not Being Fed At My Church, I Think I'll Look Elsewhere

"I am so tired of not being fed at the church I attend. I think I'm going to start looking elsewhere."  Have you ever said this to yourself or to someone else? Maybe you've even left your church to go somewhere else because your current church wasn't "feeding" you enough. I've been there. Sunday after Sunday, mid-week service after mid-week service, I would go to church, sing, listen to the preacher and leave. I would feel like I wasn't getting anything out of it. I wasn't being "fed" the way I thought I should have been. I was going because that's what your "supposed" to do. "The preacher's message wasn't ringing any bells for me. Why??"

I recently read a blog and some of the comments were about how this person didn't feel like they were being fed like they should be at their church. Since then, it's just been on my heart about how many of us feel this way. And the more I pondered on it, the more the Lord kept saying.... It's not that they are not being fed but it's time they start pouring out what they have been fed. I began visualizing and by (I) I mean the Holy Spirit kept showing me through a coke. That's right folks, He knows just how to keep my attention. You know how when you pour a drink or something and that drink begins to overflow, you rush to put something under it to catch it in so it isn't wasted? (maybe not so much a coke but something else) Well, if you don't get something else it's going to be just that. Wasted.

God began to show me that is how we as believers often are. Saying we aren't being fed but in reality, maybe it's time we start to do the feeding. God is filling us up so that we can pour into others what he's fed us. But if we are just sitting around, all of that that God has filled us with is being wasted. Also, eventually, you have to start feeding yourself some. Your pastor, your youth leader, whoever it is, can't be the one always "feeding" you. There eventually comes a time when we can feed ourselves and let the church be our refreshers and are refills.

You may think that you can't pour out because you're not on the worship team or you're not the preacher but there are so many other ways to pour into peoples lives. Random acts of kindness, working in your church nursery, be a greeter, an usher, pick up trash, get involved in your community, write someone an unexpected note to encourage them. Pouring into someone's life doesn't mean standing at the pulpit or shouting in their face about getting saved, pouring into their lives can just simply mean loving them when the world is crumbling around them.

Spring Break

I'm pretty sure I blinked and spring break was over. I love having time off with the whole family. Staying up late, sleeping in, not cooking.....sounds like a good week to me. :)  We didn't have a lot of plans, just hanging out and getting things done around the house. One day we went to Klyde Warren Park so the boys could play. It was my first time there and I must say, it's a very nice place to hang out and eat. I love that they have food trucks even though we didn't eat from them this time. (The lines were just way too long.) After the park, we went to the bookstore. We really need to take the boys more often. They loved picking out their own books and I loved the prices of them. We found a baseball field at one of the local parks and decided to get a little practice in. Then we headed home to end our day with ice cream.

Day 1

Tuesday we went to the zoo. It was such a beautiful day and it actually felt like spring. The boys enjoyed the zoo so much more this time. Well, the last time we went, Lawson was just a baby so I guess he didn't care either way. Malachi enjoyed it a lot more this time. We rode the dart from downtown which made the trip that much more exciting. A train ride is a win win either way. 

 Day 2

Lawson did not like the big Iguana. 

 

The rest of the week was spent on house projects, studying and reading. I almost have our bedroom redecorated. I can't wait to show you. We haven't had it decorated since we moved in, almost 5 years ago! We got the living room painted.....Love the color! Now we are getting ready to put in wood floors. This makes me so excited. I am so sick of our cheetah colored carpets. (That's how many stains are on it.) There is still a lot to be done in with the living room and kitchen but at least we are making progress!!

To the Parents of Athletes.....From a Coach's Wife

So your kids on a team and probably the star athlete, at least in your eyes. Maybe he or she got to play the whole game tonight because well, they are that good. Or, maybe, they only played the last 3 minutes of the game. I get it. You want them to play no matter what. So now we come to the part where your star athlete was taken out of the game for whatever reason the coach sees fit or finally your kid is getting to go in the game. You.are.furious.with.the.coach. How dare he take your star athlete out of the game. How dare he only let your star athlete play the last 3 minutes.

 I mean after all, he/she is JUST the coach. You're the real coach. You're the one who gets up at an ungodly hour in the morning to get to the gym, practice field, etc., to make sure someone is there when your athlete arrives. You're the one who stays late after school for practice. You're the one who practices with them day in and day out. You're the one who knows the abilities of everyone on the team. You're the one who gets the failure report for everyone on the team. You're the one who not only tries to coach the entire team but also the one who tries to instill life lessons in them. And let's not forget the one who travels to and from away games with them and makes sure EVERYONE on the team returns safely to you, not just your athlete. You're the one who studies game film to make sure the team makes it to the playoffs and you're the one who works toward getting your athlete a scholarship.

Since you already know all of this because let's face it you know way more about the team than the coach does, let me tell you something you may not know:

When that coach is getting up in the morning or staying late for practice....those are hours he is spending time with your kid not his own. We would love for him to be at home but instead he/she is trying to help your athlete become a little bit better.

When he/she checks grades and failure reports, he has 10+ kids to worry about, you have one.

When he/she goes to an away game, he/she has to make sure that the entire team follows rules and returns home safely to you. You only have to worry about your athlete.

When you jump down his/her throat for the game they just lost, he/she has already beat themselves up a thousand times over in their head of what they could have done differently.

Oh and guess what. The coach that is trying his/her hardest to make your athlete the best that they can be has 50+ other kids during the day that they teach. That's their first job. Coaching is a choice your right but it's also a passion. A passion that they have to see kids excel in their sport.

Until you spend the hours evaluating and watching every player on the team to see who excels in which area better, know that your athlete may just in fact not be the best player on the team. So, go home and work with them, help them get better. What? That's not your job, it's the coaches job. Then why do you spend the whole game trying to get your athlete to look at you up in the stands instead of listening to their coach.

I know the coach doesn't always call the correct play and yes, they could have probably made a change that would've won the game. And yes, he probably could have played your athlete a little more. Still, at the end of the game, he/she cares about your athlete. Support them. You may not agree with everything but support them. Teach your athlete to respect. Teach them that it's not an everybody gets a trophy kind of world. You have to fight in life, you have to fight for your position on the team. Make that coach want to put you in. Show him/her that you are worth more than 3 minutes. Don't just let your athlete sit on the sideline and roll their eyes and bash their coach because they chose to play video games or sleep in when the rest of the team chose to put a little extra time in the gym or on the field. Teach them responsibility.

Side note: My little athlete is about to start his own journey in the world of sports. Trust me, I know I will have to remind myself of this. Trust me.

When Doubt Clouds Our View.....

The verse that went along with my devotional this morning was from Matthew 14:28-32. It’s the story of Peter walking on water to Jesus and when he saw the wind he began to sink and cried out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus reached out his hand and caught him, asking, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

 In past months I've been like Peter, trusting God enough to walk on water until the wind began to blow and then I start doubting. Are you really there God? Are you really going to help me through this? And, just like with Peter, He always reaches out his hand and saves me. Not usually at the time I would like for him too but in the perfect time, in His time.

I’m so thankful for a God who already knows our tomorrow. A God that already knows that our tomorrow holds doubt and fear yet He still meets us in that tomorrow and is ready to save us. What about you? Does Peter’s walk on water look like yours right now?  Remember (I have to remember), this life is full of problems but it’s where we put our focus that will help us overcome. It's so easy to focus on Jesus and the things He has for us until doubt creeps in and clouds our view.  

Where is your (my) focus? On the problem or on the one who can instantly stop the wind? This is so much easier said than done but I pray that it be something I work on daily. 

It Pierced My Heart

Last night was a moment I knew would come eventually. A moment I had not waited on all my 5 years of motherhood. A moment that pierced through my heart. The words from my 5 year old that I can't get out of my head: I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY MOMMY ANYMORE!! I know I know what you're probably thinking: "This is the first time he's ever said that or something like that??? My kid has said that a million times to me and I just brush it off." Why yes, yes it is.

Rewind to the reasoning of his outburst...... He has started yelling at us in this growling kind of way when he doesn't get his way and we are trying to cut the cord on that. So when he didn't get his way last night, he did just that, growled and yelled at me. (I guess when I read it like that it's kind of funny.) Anyway, so I sent him to his room. Time was up, he came out and wanted to do the same thing. I again said no, he growled and I told him to go back to his room. He stomped away, stopped, turned around and did the whole stick your tongue out with that spitting sound...well you get the picture. So, that was it. Now it was time for bed. Let.the.meltdown.begin. Screaming the whole time he's getting his pajamas on. I put him in bed. I got Lawson ready for bed and as I was laying him down I hear those heartbreaking words...I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY MOMMY! GET OUT OF HERE!

A big lump filled my throat as I walked out of the room. I was trying so hard not to cry because I knew they were just words and he didn't mean them. Let's face it, he's 5 years old and it's probably, I mean it IS, gonna happen again. But as I walked in the living room my eyes filled up and tears started rolling down my face. I felt so hurt. It wasn't necessarily because of what he said (again, I knew he didn't mean it) but I just kept thinking, what if I wasn't his mommy anymore? What if something happened to me and he got a new mommy? (I would haunt Nick for the rest of his life.) (kidding) What if something happened to him and someone else was raising him? I could not get these haunting thoughts out of my head. I was trying hard to dry it up because Nick was on his way home and I didn't want him to know why I was crying. lol I think words take a different toll on mom's more than they do on dad's. I'm not saying dad's don't get their feelings hurt but mom's are just by nature more nurturing. We are the lovers, huggers, kissers, make my boo boo feel better, cheerleader no matter how bad you stink at what you are doing, etc. I just didn't think he would understand.

It  made me think so hard about what being a mommy is. The blog I read the other day that was talking about "I Signed Up For This," was right on the money. I thought of how much my job as a mom really means. I was given the chance to help mold and shape these two tiny humans to be men of God, men that are respectful, men that value other people for who they are, I was chosen. I knew I was doing what was right and I had to stick to my guns. He wasn't dying and going to bed a little early wasn't going to kill him. I know it is only going to get harder the older they get. And as hard as it may get at times with the screams and the yells and the I hate you's or the I don't want you to be my mommy, I will also be thankful and beyond grateful that I have the chance to be called mom.

And....just like I thought, this morning was a new day. I talked to him about what he said and he got tears in his eyes and said, I only want you to be my mommy. A part of me was like, Boom!!! I won! But the even bigger part of me was trying not to cry again because that little person sitting by my side, holding my hand was mine forever and no screaming fit and no words could ever change that.