Living What He Preached

Last week, a wonderful man of God passed away. My grandpa was one of the most Godly men I have ever known. He was always praying, always seeking after God. He loved his family. If ever there was a problem or something we were going through, we could always count on him to pray for us. I've been thinking back over the years of all the awesome memories we all shared with him: camping, fishing, hauling hay, sitting out in the yard talking, church, etc. But I can honestly say, the one memory that will stick with me probably more than anything, is the faith in God he showed during his last days.

Before he got to the point that he couldn't really talk, he preached his last message right there in his living room, laying in his bed. Quoting scripture, giving God all the praise. I wish I could have been there to hear him. But I was able to make it the weekend before he passed and I will never forget it. At this point he could hardly speak at all. If he did, you had to get real close and just try and make out the words that he would say. That Saturday, me, my aunts and my cousins stood beside his bed singing songs that we knew he loved. My grandpa sick and dying in the bed, would raise his hands and say Yes Lord and Amen. It was so hard to get through any song without crying. Watching him praising his Savior even in the bad times. He was truly living out the words he had always preached. Praising God no matter what.

Everyone stayed the last few days with him, taking turns staying up. This gave my granny relief and allowed her to get some much needed rest. And let me tell you, you will never meet a sweeter, more tender hearted woman than her. Anyway, one night my aunt said as she was staying up by his bedside and she heard choir music. No one singing, just the sweet music of the choir. She said, right where that music was, my grandpa's eyes were fixed on that area. She didn't mention the music to anyone because she said, I thought you all might think I'm crazy. lol  Well, another aunt and two more of my cousins heard the same sweet choir music. My grandpa would say raise his hands praising the Lord. I believe with all my heart, this was the music from heaven, welcoming him home. It was only a few days after that, that the Lord took him to the place He had lived his life to be.

We are sad that we won't see him on earth anymore but oh how sweet it is to know exactly where he is. A new body, a new hand...singing unending praises at the feet of Jesus. My grandpa's son, my uncle, preached his funeral. I can't imagine how tough that would be but he did an amazing job. He truly made it feel like a homecoming for my grandpa. Well, that's how I felt anyway. If you left the funeral doubting who God is and the one you should be serving, then you must've been asleep. :)

The one song that played over and over in my head that weekend was:
And on that day when my strength is failing
the end draws near and my time has come.
Still my soul will sing your praise unending
10,000 years and then forever more.

I am thankful that my family has come from amazing faith legacies. Both sets of my grandparents and my husbands grandparents were strong believers and lived it in their daily lives.  We are so blessed to come from such great families!!

Mercy's Song

My friend Crystal Hahn recently posted a song that she caught her daughter singing in her room. Not a song that anyone else could sing because it was Mercy's song. That's right, this sweet little 5 year was singing her own song and with the quick thinking of her mom, Crystal was able to write down the words to that song. Crystal said that Mercy just kept singing for about 20 minutes while she was coloring. When I read the words, it struck a chord in my heart and then I went on about my day and I honestly didn't think much about it. But it seemed that all throughout the day and the next couple of days three words from Mercy's song kept coming back to me.....No Matter What. I asked Crystal if I could share her song and she of course said yes!

Here are her words:
Mercy's song:
My life is great no matter what
My life is great no matter what happens
My life is great no matter what happens to me
Because no matter what you are with me.
My God is good
Thanks for everything God
You think about us.
Where is my God, He is everywhere
My God, where is He?
He's with you and He's with me
Our hero God
He switches things
He's the only one
My life is great no matter what because God is with me.

Can we say wow?!? From the heart of a 5 year old, there is so much to learn. No Matter What, God is With Us. God is Good. God is Everywhere. He Switches Things. My Life is Great No Matter What BECAUSE GOD IS WITH ME!!!  These words are so true and so purely spoken. If only we as adults could fully grasp the words No Matter What. 

Our faith can become so weary with everything going on around us. Your bank account is about dry, you are suddenly unemployed, you are finding yourself at the edge of divorce, your life as you know it is completely falling apart. How could we possibly have faith when these things are taking over our life, our every ounce of happiness? Because, No Matter What God is With Us. It's not easy to keep faith when trouble is in our view but that's when we have to dig a little deeper and remember that God is Everywhere and He does CARE ABOUT YOU!

Matthew 6:26 says: Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Matthew 10:29-31 says: 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[a] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Just remember, God knows every step we take. He knew them before we took them. God cares about you. There is nothing that God will not see us through. No matter how big or small we think our situation is, God is bigger. And sometimes that means He doesn't always see us through the way we want. There may be a little suffering and a little pain, but rest assure JOY will come in the morning. 

Mercy Blair had a song in her heart and I'm so glad her momma decided to share it with us. It's much easier said than done, Have Faith Like a Child. But I pray that I can do just that in my every day life. I hope that Mercy's words captured your heart like they did mine. Hold on to faith and believe that God is for you. 

A Servant Minded New Kid on the Block

When I started working, a couple of weeks ago, I really started thinking about how I wanted my new year at work to play out. In my head, it sounds amazing, drama free, and super fun! In reality, I know that those three things will happen SOME of the time. Let's face it, no job, or at least most jobs, are not amazing all the time, nor are they drama free all the time, nor are they super fun all the time. Some days just plain suck. Someone may yell at you, talk about you, you may make a mistake (big mistake that is gonna have major consequences), you simply just don't feel like getting out of bed that day, your boss is a mean brat and you think your coworkers are just not as smart as you, and if everyone would just do things your way the world would be a better place. Have you ever felt like this? I know I have and I'm sure there are some upcoming days that this will be exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. So I started thinking, how can I change these thoughts? I know these situations are going to arise, but how can I change my mindset? My plan- to do everything with a servant mind.

Like I said, I know not every day is gonna be roses and there are certainly gonna be times when that servant-hearted mind is gonna be hard to find. I'm not even really doing the job I was hoping to be doing but how I'm oh so thankful that I have a job. So, I hope that when I start to get frustrated and find myself on the edge of "jumping off the cliff," I can stop, breath, and remind myself that I'm being a servant and helping someone somehow. Whether I'm answering the phone with an angry parent on the other end, making a bazillion copies, trying to enter things in the computer and the system just won't work, I just gotta remember...... Do it with a servant hearted mind. I actually tried this this past week and you know what? The task at hand didn't seem so bad.

Now, add New Kid on the Block to trying to have a servant hearted mind. No, I'm not new to the school district. I'm not even new to the campus. But, I am new to a lot of the people there because when I was there, they were not. New face, new walls go up. It's not exactly as easy as I thought it would be. Is she nice? What's she like? Who is she? I hope she does things the way you do it. Guess what? It doesn't matter how old you are, being the New Kid on the Block is challenging and scary. Trust me, I know. So, when that new co-worker shows up and starts doing things a little different than the way you do it or a little different than the person before them did it, just remember, you were once a NKOTB and it's not always fun. Be nice, go out of your way to make them feel welcome. You may just find that they're not as bad as you "heard" they were.

We are all gonna have those people we just don't like to work with. And we all will have that job that at some point we do not want to do. Just remember, every person has a story and every job has a reason. A reason we may not like but a reason nonetheless. For some reason, I have this crazy idea that if I can just remember this, my days won't seem so long and my job won't seem so bad on those days.

So, as I begin a new year with mostly new people, I am challenging myself to do everything as a Servant Minded New Kid on the Block.

Tonight I Met With God

Tonight I started running again. While we were on vacation I did basically nothing in the form of working out. I ran a couple of times and rode the stationary bike a couple of times. The end.  Vacation doesn't really scream "run a mile" to me. Tonight however, I got a little more than just a good run in. I also had a run in with God.

I started work today and that was not easy. Not because the job is hard and I can't manage it but because I left my baby at home. Again. I remember when I had to go back to work when Malachi was a baby and it knotted the pit of my stomach and today was certainly no different. I act tough but on the inside, this momma was in tears just as I am now typing. (I think I cry more the older I get.) It helps that Nick is home with them for these next two weeks but after that, the thought of Lawson going to daycare, in the care of someone else, it breaks my heart.

But tonight, tonight God reminded me that he is faithful and that I am a good momma. All day, the devil pulled at me, pushed me around on the inside, telling me how bad of a mom I was for leaving my boys. What a bad mom you are for letting someone else take care of them. He tried to knock me out today but the God I serve said not today. Today is a day that you take back what the devil has stole from you all day. You take back the joy that you have in knowing that you are a good momma and good momma's help provide for their kids. I knew all of this before but tonight God had to remind me of that.

For the first half mile tonight this song was playing on my phone:
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God
I'm reaping the harvest God promised me
Take back what the devil stole from me
And I rejoice today, for I shall recover it all

I could feel that the Lord was starting to speak to me. I knew that He was saying, hey, I've got this. I've been faithful to you before and I'll be faithful to you now. The next song was this: 

You don't have to worry
And don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning
Troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say
Oh
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

I know that this next month will be tough with me being at work and the boys in daycare. But I also know this, I know that God has a plan for our family and this is only a stepping stone to that plan. I know that I can make it. I'm not sure yet where I'm going but with him, no matter what comes my way, I CAN MAKE IT! I truly believe that I am where God wants me right now. Even though there are still times when I'm looking ahead and the finances still don't seem to be lining up, or when the devil tries to tell me a lie, that's only the small picture. God sees the big pictures. 

I stopped running at a mile and kept walking while pushing the boys in the stroller. (Nick was long gone once I took over the stroller.) This may have been one of my favorite walks. As the song above was playing, I spent that next 5 minutes of my walking praying over my boys. The neighbors probably think I have a tick or something because I was lifting my hands, waving them over the boys, praising God.....but I didn't care. :) That was some of the best prayer time I've had in awhile. As I finished up praying we were just reaching the house and Because of Who You Are started playing. If you don't know the song please listen to it. Listen to all three of them. You will not be disappointed. I promise. As I reached the house and let the boys out to go in, I just stood at the garage and said Thank you Lord. Because of Who You Are I give you praise. Not because of the job you provided me, not because of the peace I feel right now, but just because of who you are, I give you glory. 

I'm sharing this not because I want you to think I'm some spiritual person who just runs through her neighborhood praising the Lord. I'm sharing it because I have talk to some moms out there who would give up everything if they could to be home with their babies. And there are times when satan tries to tell them that they are not good moms for going to work. Truth is, if you are helping provide for your child because that's what needs to be done, then that makes you a great mom! You do what you have to do for your family. On the flip side, maybe you are working because you love your family and your career. Maybe you're not the stay at home type. THAT'S OK TOO!!! 

Like I said before, I know that I will still be sad when the boys start back to school, but I know that I can find peace in the fact that God sees the bigger picture. I prayed over them and I know that God heard my prayers and He will take care of them. August 5 when they start back, although there will be some sadness, joy will come in the morning. 

It's All About Family

When we planned our trip back in March, Nick mentioned how nice it would be to see the whole family since we would be in Florida for an entire month. But, he quickly responded with, I don't want everyone to get together just for me. Well, I knew I couldn't leave it at that because I know how much his family means to him. And since we live in Texas, we usually miss out on any and all get together's. I emailed my MIL and Aunt Karen to see if there was a place we could meet to eat between Venice and Gainesville and anyone who wanted to join could gladly do so. Well they did me one better. They invited everyone to spend the weekend in Gainesville (many of them live there anyway). Nejay (Nick's brother) was able to come from Alabama, his sister from Tallahassee, and many cousins from all over, even out of state. We had not seen most of them in 4 years. That's just too long! It initially was suppose to be a surprise for Nick and it was up until the last couple of weeks. But he was still pleasantly surprised and was so glad everyone was getting together. 

We all arrived on Friday night at Uncle Steve's house (he graciously opened up his home for all of us). And what makes a family get together even better?? A fish fry of course!!!! Fried Talapia, shrimp and hushpuppies.........yes please! It was delicious. The next morning we all came back together for breakfast and then had dinner together again that night. 

Saturday was a hang out do as you please kinda day. Nick and I had the opportunity to meet some cousins that we had never met. His mom had not seen this cousin in a long time so it was a wonderful treat. There was also plenty of sports watching and sports playing. Wrestling, football, baseball, watching Nascar, tennis.....and the list goes on and on. 

We had a wonderful weekend together. There were some crazy times but we all enjoyed each other's company. I mean, you have to expect a little crazy when you have 12 kids under the age of 8. ;) And that wasn't even all of the "baby" cousins. Look how cute they are.  

I think my MIL said it best in her email, "I thank the Lord for our heritage, the legacy that our parents left, and for the love and unity that we share.  Thank the Lord that the love and unity continues through the cousins.  Mom and Dad would be proud." This is definitely a tight knit family and I am so proud to call them mine. I know their parents/grandparents would be proud of them. I was grateful that I was able to see where this heritage, legacy, love and unity began. Nick always talks about his grandaddy's church and this weekend I was given a chance to see the place he has been talking about. 

I am so thankful that those that could make it did. And for those that couldn't, we greatly missed you!! Nick and I are so blessed and so thankful that you all took time to get together for us. I couldn't have asked for a better extended family. 

Vacation is winding down......

We have been in Florida since June 10. It's hard to believe it has almost been a whole month since we flew out of Texas. We are enjoying spending time with our family. Uncle Nejay and Aunt Chrissy made it in last night so now we are complete. This weekend we have planned a trip to Gainesville. Most of Nick's family lives either there or in Tallahassee so we are meeting there to visit everyone. The last time we saw the whole fam was right before Malachi turned 1. So, needless to say, we have a lot of catching up to do and now everyone can meet Lawson.

Yesterday we finally made it to the beach, again. We had plans to go on Monday but it literally rained all day long. My FIL had to drain the pool twice just so it wouldn't run over. The red flag was out when we arrived and the waves were definitely crashing the shoreline. But even with all the weather we had a great time. There were some idiots of course still trying to swim out to the buoys making those poor lifeguards work double time.

I've been trying to put together some ideas for the boys birthdays. Sometimes I wish I would have never created "big" birthday parties for Malachi bc now I feel like I have to do the same for Lawson. lol On the flip side, I really like doing it. I love decorating and coming up with ideas. I usually stress myself out way more than I should, but in the end I'm happy with my accomplishments. It's never fancy with expensive decor, just a lot of homemade hosh posh. Malachi turns 5 this year and I am trying to come up with something special for his 5th birthday. So far, nothing comes to mind. And, I thought we could have a non-sports party and do something else like Green Eggs and Ham but he insists he wants a Texas Rangers party. Sigh. I guess I should be use to it by now but a mom can dream right? :)

Although I am loving spending all this time with our family, beach trips, pool access 24-7 and just having a great vacation, I think I'm ready to be back in my own bed. The boys have been on a crazy roller coaster ride with their eating habits and sleeping patterns. I dread getting them back to a school routine. We are going to start potty training Lawson when we get back. The fun thing about this? It will be all Nick during the day since I start work July 15. I know he will do great and Lawson is definitely showing signs he is ready.

We are definitely missing our friends and church. We can't wait to see you Texas family!!!!

God Is On Vacation

We are having an amazing time here with our family in Florida. We even have friends here that we were able to do a mini vacay with. This is definitely the longest vacation we have ever taken. One thing that I have noticed since we've been here, God is on vacation. He's on our vacation. He is blessing us and showing us his goodness. You never really know when God is going to show you something or how he will speak to you, but when you open your heart and listen, he's right there, even on vacation.

We were so lucky to be able to attend the last service Pastor Gray preached at Lift Church. They have been the senior pastors here for 18 years, children's pastors before that. Their total time has been 26 years!!! What a legacy and foundation of God's Kingdom they are leaving behind as they begin their next journey that God has in store for them. They have been called to Ohio to show God's love to the people of Youngstown. What an amazing thought....... God can/will call you out of a place if he sees fit no matter how long you have been there no matter how much time you have invested. After all, we are working for him right?

I actually feel like I've had a few questions answered that I have been pondering on and praying about. An unexpected door has been opened and I certainly wasn't expecting that. All because two people listened to God and are on their way to Ohio. One thing that I remember so well that Pastor Gray said was, Be prayerful, be available, be flexible, and hopeful. I'm sure that this was a word for the congregation to get ready for the transition but it also spoke to me in a different way and I was able to apply it to my current situation.  I recently took a certification test to teach and I failed. Yep, missed it by 12 points. Boo. All well, nothing I can do but try again. I failed the test but I'll only be a failure if I don't try again. And I plan on doing just that, trying again. I will pass that test. Maybe I failed it because well, I simply didn't know the material. Or maybe God needed to see how much I trusted in him. Maybe he wanted to see just how prayerful, available, flexible and hopeful I really am. He opened a door that basically was off the market and I took it. The job I'm looking for? No. The job I want to do forever? No. But I made myself available, flexible, and was hopeful that something would come along until I pass my test. And it did. I will be the administrative assistant for the 5th/6th grade at Life School Cedar Hill. It's a job and I will be working with some wonderful people.

A couple of other things that stood out to me this Sunday that Pastor Gray said: Sometimes the miracle is getting you out of the problem. Sometimes the miracle is getting you through the problem. So true, so true.

And last but not least: Thank God for what he has done. And thank God that he is not done. I've seen the works of God time and time again. But I am so thankful that he is not done showing us his goodness and mercy.

I also mentioned having some questions answered so stay tuned............. you won't want to miss it.