Since year 5, I have dreamed of what our 10 year anniversary would be like. Me in my dress, dinner together with the boys, and then a big trip with just the two of us. A trip we wouldn't normally take. One of those you actually have to save up for. I've had these plans forever and never really thought about them being different. Until about a month ago when all those plans seemed to not matter that much anymore.
We were hit with one of two of the hardest times in our marriage. A hit that left us speechless, angry, hurt, confused. This isn't about that but it is about taking a hit and choosing to pull together. Marriage is something that some see as a magical "thing" to do. Roses and champagne kind of life. I would say, for the most part, we have had a roses and champagne kind of life. But when you are hit with the unexpected, you have two choices: give up or fight.
I think a hit often tears people a part. They lose sight of what really is in front of them and that is the one they promised to stand beside for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, etc. This last month has been anything but glamorous. We went from the excitement of selling our house, being days away from moving in to our new home, to Nick losing his job, to living in a bedroom of our friends house. Some of the most selfless people I have ever met. We are beyond grateful for their generosity and friendship. (It is nice to have another girl in the house. ;) haha) It's not easy. It hasn't been easy. There have been many sleepless nights, crying myself to sleep, wondering what the heck did we do wrong. And all the while, Nick and I have chose to love each other through the bad times just like the good times. We have inevitably had to choose love over heartache and disappointment.
Let's be honest though, this all comes because we know there is a God who loves us first. I can tell you that we would probably not be in a place of working on this together if we both didn't have a relationship with God. Despite the pain, despite the anger, the long nights of confusion, there is someone that we can turn our hope to. I fully believe a relationship with God brings a marriage around full circle.
Marriage is just not easy. If your marriage is all roses and champagne please tell me your secret. I'll use it for these next 10 years. But seriously, if you encounter some hard times in your marriage, don't just give up. Fight. If you are a believer, find some other couples who are believers, couples you trust and can share with, but more importantly find some couples who will pray the hell out of your marriage. (literally) We have. You said the words the day you got married. Honor them. Make them real.
**This does not mean stay in an abusive marriage at all. No. You get out. You call me and I will help get you out. You deserve so much more than that. You do not deserve to be treated like that and that is not how God intended marriage to be.